A New Era.

Here we are again, its been three months since I've written, but in actuality I thought about writing at least once a day, okay- I'm lying at least once a week. The winter is finally a fond memory and the summer is starting off with a big bang for the Mundell family and a lot of change. As most of you know about a year ago we lost Kurt's dad Larry. Since his death the Mundell family has had its fair share of ups and downs. Our beloved Aunt Nee had a hip replacement and double mastectomy. We are all so proud of her strength. She is a true fighter and one hell of a lady! We all haven't had much time to grieve, but I think in our own ways we get through the days. The guys usually spend time together and "make fun" of the Larryisms, they are priceless. I usually spend time just replaying the memories I have of Larry and I can't get "that day" out of my head, its on constant rewind. In some ways I don't think we really have even realized he is gone. My heart breaks every time I look at Bean and realize they will never meet. On a lighter note, Kurt and Eric just completed a nightmare project that just won't end, actually the swing set is still not done. And the replacement part we ordered was wrong, found that little treasure out today when we opened the mysterious package on our front door step. Joy! Like Eric says, "You just can't make this shit up!" I always thought the boys were being dramatic, but we Mundell's do have silly dumb bad luck. Being an optimistic, I'd like to think it's because we are so blessed when it comes to the big stuff.

Larry gave us a chance to invest in our future. To make changes we normally would not be able to do. He left us a gift that we will forever be in debt to him for. So, Kurt quit his job, he decided to go back to school and he is now enrolled in the Culinary Arts program. Anyone that knows Kurt knows how it takes him foreverrr to make a big decision. This was talked about and beaten like a dead horse, I think that's the saying. I'm so proud of his courage to make a change and enter the unknown. He hasn't quit mechanics entirely just yet, he is working for the bus company to keep us fed. He is doing well so far and I love how he has a bounce back in his step. We have a business plan in the works, but we'll keep that for next time.

I unfortunately, have slipped a little bit. I've always been so focused when it has come to my future career goals, but lately I don't have the energy or desire to think about five years from now when I do everything in my power to get through the day with two happy and healthy babes. I go this Saturday to bomb the GRE. No, I'm not being modest, I'm being realistic. I dropped the prep courses because I just didn't have the time to devote to doing algebra with two screaming kids in the other room. Sure, could I have, probably. I just didn't want to. I've spent my pregnancies and most of the kids infancy in school. I was beyond ready for this break. I have almost completed the CASPA application to PA school, the last component is the GRE scores and my narrative. Why I want to be a PA? Ask me this a year ago and I could write you novel. Today, after I eat my BLT I'll be lucky to have ten minutes to cut my nails. I lack the inspiration, the desire and quite frankly the motivation. I'm hoping this is a passing phase, because I ultimately know that I want to be a PA. For the first time, the unknown does not excite me, it scares the shit out of me. This is the internal struggle, mom versus working professional. On a happy note, I am absolutely in heaven with mom life. Mom of two was made for me. The kids are growing like weeds and thriving!

Karson has one day a month where the speech teacher comes to check in on him. He has made leaps and bounds and has an extensive vocabulary. He is still shy when it comes to large crowds and strangers. His tantrums are few and far between. Praise God! He is loving having Dad at the bus company when he goes to work. He is an outside kid, you have to beg him to come in most days. Except when its hot, he hates it! He loves reading books, every night with Dada. We had our first boo boo. Glue to the forehead. He was a champ, didn't move an inch when he was getting it done. He rocked it at his Pre-schools bike-a-thon. Of course, I am a bad mom and did not have a helmet for him. In my defense it was the first time the tricycle has been out of the house. He usually rides it in the kitchen. And we lost him at a family party. Quick story, he followed my step dad upstairs. I couldn't find either of them and completely freaked. My heart literally stopped and the panic I felt has been the worst feeling in my life. I'm telling you I would put him in a bubble if I could.

Kooper is pulling her self up and scaling the walls. She has six teeth and I feel like she is getting more. The drool is non-stop. She talks up a storm, Mama and Dada. She is still nursing, very little, and lovesss to eat, anything, all the time. She adores Karson and does things to make him laugh. He is in for it now that she is on the move. He realizes she ain't as easy to push around anymore. Her smile melts my heart and she is my girl. We went to the eye specialist for her cyst.. She will be having surgery once she turns one, but her vision is perfect. It will be a quick outpatient surgery with anesthesia and stitches, just a lot of nerves from Mommy. She will be the big 1 at the beginning of August and I better start planning her bash, a swim party!

You'll probably hear our updates in another three months. I'm not even going to make any false promises.

Blessings.

I would be lying if I said I haven't attempted to blog. I've tried a handful of times and just figured it wasn't meant to happen. Up until last October I had done really well with my New Years Resolution from 2012. I made a promise to myself that I should take the time to blog about once a month. Of course this blog has become my mom space, this was not what I had originally intended. At the time I was expecting my first child and life was completely different (I was still peeing by myself). Fast forward to now and I am a mother of two...yeah TWO! And to top it all off she is already 7 months old. My baby girl is growing fast before my eyes and I am growing right along with her.

Part of the reason I had not blogged was because I haven't really had the time and secondly I had a serious case of writers block. I was going to blog about sanctimommy's and how prevalent they have become in the mommy community (so over it). I was going to blog about all the career changes that are going to take place soon. I could go on and on about Kurt's anxiety, Karson's lack of speech, Kooper's milestones and my internal struggle for mommy greatness and wanting a career. I feel like all of those topics would make for good reading, but I want to make great reading. To be honest I am not entirely sure how to do that. I am at a stagnant point in my life and I feel like I only relate to other moms and they only relate to me, which makes for a lonely existence because I don't have many friends with kids. And with that brings all the judgey sanctimommy's. When did motherhood become a "cool kid click"? Its nuts. Doesn't it matter that we are all just trying to do the best for our children (well most of us are).

In this particular post I don't want to make quick jokes and banter about the adventures of mothering. I want to get down to the real feels that go along with t
he job. A few weeks ago Kurt and I were out with friends. Most of the time before we get together with our friends, we make each other promise that we will not spend the entire night talking about the little people that run our lives. I mean we did just leave them for a few hours, a break we both desperately needed. So in the beginning of the night we ate, drank and talked. Glorious. Then I realized holy hell it was 9 o'clock. You read that right! I quickly gave the once over to Kurt who had just ordered another beer. Well, while drinking his last beer and me ready to run home to get the kids, we broke, we talked about the kids. My one friend made the comment that stuck with me, "I don't know if I want to be a Mom, you guys are just so real about parenting, other people just make it sound so easy." There is truth to this statement, but let me break it down.

Yes, Kurt and I are bluntly honest, about everything, not just parenting. Our conversations are meant to be real, not negative. I feel like sometimes people might misjudge and think we don't love parenting. We do! But unlike those who put a fake smile on, while their inner parent is ready to scream, we tell the truth, as raw and real as that might be. Parenting is by far the hardest thing I have ever done in my 26 years and in Kurt's 38, maybe because we make it that way for ourselves or maybe because we are doing are damndest to do a great, not just good job. Sure some days are harder than others, but there is nothing in this world that I rather be than Mom. These tiny people can literally make me want to climb the walls one moment and break down and thank God they are in my life the next. Even when Karson is melting down in the middle of Costco, not for one second would I want to be anywhere else than with him.

My dear friends, parent, don't just do it because its the next phase. Do it because there is nothing else in this world that matters more to you. You will never be ready for a little person to dictate your life, but when you hold them for the first time it becomes clear this is the greatest gift from God. He has entrusted you to guide this tiny human through life, to love them to the moon and back, to be there for them emotionally and literally. Parent, because it is the blessing of a lifetime.