Part of the reason I had not blogged was because I haven't really had the time and secondly I had a serious case of writers block. I was going to blog about sanctimommy's and how prevalent they have become in the mommy community (so over it). I was going to blog about all the career changes that are going to take place soon. I could go on and on about Kurt's anxiety, Karson's lack of speech, Kooper's milestones and my internal struggle for mommy greatness and wanting a career. I feel like all of those topics would make for good reading, but I want to make great reading. To be honest I am not entirely sure how to do that. I am at a stagnant point in my life and I feel like I only relate to other moms and they only relate to me, which makes for a lonely existence because I don't have many friends with kids. And with that brings all the judgey sanctimommy's. When did motherhood become a "cool kid click"? Its nuts. Doesn't it matter that we are all just trying to do the best for our children (well most of us are).
In this particular post I don't want to make quick jokes and banter about the adventures of mothering. I want to get down to the real feels that go along with t
he job. A few weeks ago Kurt and I were out with friends. Most of the time before we get together with our friends, we make each other promise that we will not spend the entire night talking about the little people that run our lives. I mean we did just leave them for a few hours, a break we both desperately needed. So in the beginning of the night we ate, drank and talked. Glorious. Then I realized holy hell it was 9 o'clock. You read that right! I quickly gave the once over to Kurt who had just ordered another beer. Well, while drinking his last beer and me ready to run home to get the kids, we broke, we talked about the kids. My one friend made the comment that stuck with me, "I don't know if I want to be a Mom, you guys are just so real about parenting, other people just make it sound so easy." There is truth to this statement, but let me break it down.
Yes, Kurt and I are bluntly honest, about everything, not just parenting. Our conversations are meant to be real, not negative. I feel like sometimes people might misjudge and think we don't love parenting. We do! But unlike those who put a fake smile on, while their inner parent is ready to scream, we tell the truth, as raw and real as that might be. Parenting is by far the hardest thing I have ever done in my 26 years and in Kurt's 38, maybe because we make it that way for ourselves or maybe because we are doing are damndest to do a great, not just good job. Sure some days are harder than others, but there is nothing in this world that I rather be than Mom. These tiny people can literally make me want to climb the walls one moment and break down and thank God they are in my life the next. Even when Karson is melting down in the middle of Costco, not for one second would I want to be anywhere else than with him.
My dear friends, parent, don't just do it because its the next phase. Do it because there is nothing else in this world that matters more to you. You will never be ready for a little person to dictate your life, but when you hold them for the first time it becomes clear this is the greatest gift from God. He has entrusted you to guide this tiny human through life, to love them to the moon and back, to be there for them emotionally and literally. Parent, because it is the blessing of a lifetime.
