Saturday, January 9, 2016

Had I Never Been a Mom.

I can honestly say not once have I ever thought of my life without my children. Where would I be, who would I be, how would I be? In all of the craziness these two little people have brought into my life there has never been a day where I don't thank God for them. Their world revolves around Kurt and myself right now, but I know this is only a phase. One day they will be grown and we'll be called to bail them out (hopefully not literally) and be the punching bag from all the world throws at them. I'm sure I will be nursing heartbreaks, sports injuries and university rejection letters. We will be the foundation for which these children grow and thrive into amazing adults. Talk about responsibility. I have a lot of accomplishments under my belt, and so many more to come, but as a mother I can say raising my children has been the most brilliantly bittersweet accomplishment of my life.

Time travel back to May 2011. Kurt and I had been trying to get pregnant. We weren't worried yet, but we began questioning if we were going to be able to have children. I decided to take our tax returns and go on an unplanned road trip to New Orleans. I was hormonally crazy of the thought that I might not ever become a mother, so let's go on vacation! Side note: As a young girl and teen I never really thought of myself as a motherly type, I had professional aspirations (as I still do) that trumped marriage and happily ever after. Back to the road trip, I remember it clear as day, we were at a gas station when I received a call from my mother who was visiting my brother, his wife and their children. They had exciting news to share, they were pregnant with their third child! I was dumbstruck and I couldn't formulate the right words. I was thrilled for them, but in that instant I realized their was a slight statistical probability that we would never be pregnant. I hung up the phone and began to cry, Kurt looked at me and promised that everything would be fine and we would have a baby too one day. In that moment I realized I wanted to be a mother more than anything.

We ended up in a dingy tavern on Bourbon Street when I came out of the bathroom to a clairvoyant that said she had a a vision when I walked past her and that I was pregnant. We laughed it off and came home with a funny story. Deep down though I prayed she was right. Weeks later and I was starting a new diet, my body was acting strange and my mother in her infinite wisdom told me, "you better take a pregnancy test". If I had a dollar for every time my mother thought I was pregnant I would be a millionaire by now. Well, obviously she was correct (I'll give her that one). Fast forward 20 weeks into the pregnancy and a day after our ultrasound that gave us quite the scare, I started to spontaneously bleed during my morning pee. I screamed for Kurt, who like always was making me something to eat, he came rushing in and in that second I broke down, I was having a miscarriage. The drive to to the hospital was the most terrifying 5 minutes of my life. I could still feel him moving around and I kept hoping this wasn't the last times I would ever feel this. I literally held my breath and looking back have no idea how I survived that day with the lack of oxygen we both had. When I heard his heartbeat on the monitor the relief I felt, the love I felt for this little baby, who in all honesty I had not yet really formed a bond with was alive and in that instant I became a mother. Momma bear was born and I've never looked back.

Here in the lies the point to all this reminiscing. My dear friends have been through hell and back in an effort to become parents. My heart breaks for every single person out there who wants to become a parent for all the right reasons and can not. I can't imagine the heartbreak they feel, but I can imagine the love they will share for their future children. I can imagine the utter joy of those first beautiful and fleeting moments, the sadness that comes from watching them grow to fast. This world can be a dark place, but children are our light, our hope for a better future. The eternal optimist in me believes this wholeheartedly. Some people are born to be parents, they have that special something from the beginning, my friend Lisa has this. I want this baby for them so badly I might have thought about giving them one of mine (haha). In all honesty, YOU have the ability to help them in becoming parents. If you are one, you know these emotions I am sharing with you, if you aren't one, well you came from somewhere and I can guarantee someone shares the same feelings about you. Please I am begging you to look at their Facebook page, click "like" and follow us in this remarkable journey. This is only a portion of their story and I know the best is yet to come! Let's make 2016 the year of baby!

https://www.facebook.com/lisaandmaryadoptionhopes/

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Friday, January 1, 2016

Costa Rican Crazy.

After being home for two days I am just now getting around to blogging. Costa Rica only has a one hour time difference, but a complete lifestyle 360, getting back into the USA hustle and bustle has been a bit of a challenge. Whew and just in time for the New Year. What a year it has been, I celebrated 40 in Cali and 60 in Costa Rica with my two bestest friends, the best part I didn't have to hit a milestone age. Although, both of my counter parts make those ages look pretty fabulous.

I have to say CR was my most relaxing vacation, a lot of down time to reflect and meditate. I attempted to disconnect and be present within the moment. Definitely something I am continuously trying to work on. The airplane rides were actually pretty awesome, first class does make all the difference and the warm nuts and wine...um yes please! We landed smoothly and had the ultimate hot flash. We went from a mere raining 60 to a sizzling 90. We shuttled to our car rental and I was happy when they were able to give me a hot spot since a GPS was not available. I literally would still be lost in a volcano if it had not been for that miracle of a hot spot. We managed to find our way to the villa and communicate veinte y nueve. Our view was breathtaking and so was the fact that we had no air! We ventured to the local grocery store where we quickly learned not all places will take US dollars and if they do your getting colones back. No worries, they take Visa. Hermosa is a quaint little town that has a mix of English speakers and not. Let's just say I was channeling my inner high school Spanish, especially when it came to ordering McDonald's (yes, you read that right) we flew to Central America and my mother still found a McDonald's.







I learned three value lessons: 1. Costa Rican people have beautiful souls. Among all of our journeys in the short time we were there, we never encountered a negative person. Smiling is absolutely contagious. 2. Plantains are the most underrated fruit in America, seriously. We rolled up on an authentic breakfast buffet on our way to the beach one day and I accidentally received this mush of something brown that sort of resembled some parts of bacon, wrong! It was better than bacon, dare I say. 3. You can take me to Central America and I will still be a forest girl over a beach girl. It doesn't matter where the sand is, I despise it. I still rather have giant bugs and monkey's possibly throw feces at me.


After our day of sunburing at la playa Hermosa, we spent the evening Netflixing romantic comedies and eating Ramen Noodles. I was proud of mom, she stayed up til 11! We slept in a tiny double, because it was the only room with the air that seemed to be working. At one point, Mom stated "Kurt and Craig would be so pissed to know we traveled to CR to Netflix." Hahaha. Good thing they'll never read this. The next day we decided to venture out to Arenal Volcano which was about a 3 hour drive, no biggie we decided, no worse than OC at home. Yeahhh ok. On our way there we drove on 1, which would be our equivalent to 95. No lines, no street signs, no lights and no freaking policia. We seriously watched a head on collision happen in front of our eyes. I was so scared on that road I didn't know if I was going to vomit or crap my pants. We eventually made it to The Springs resort and it was totally worth it. We soaked in the hot springs, had a wonderful lunch and ventured to the animal sanctuary, which was the most awesome animal experience I ever had! My mother who boycotts anything animal at home was even impressed. We made it home in the pitch dark with the hot spot and cell dying with 2% battery. Mom was in tears and I couldn't stop laughing.



The next day bright and early we were off to the sugar cane and jungle tour. I popped a Dramamine due to the bus and boat ride and boy was I out of it when it wore off. The plantation was 150 years old and iguanas came up to your feet when you were eating. Just a tad freaky, but still awesome. Glad I had sneakers on, didn't want to loose a toe. On the jungle tour we saw animals in the wild and was fed another scrumptious meal. All in all, CRs know how to eat!!! I can't believe a vacation that we've had on the calendar for almost two years has come and gone.

Every year I say the same thing..what a year, it was amazing, the best yet! It's not that we don't have challenges or hard times, but we push forward and learn the lessons that life has to offer. I enjoy the journey and laugh along the way. I don't make resolutions per say, but I do make a post it that simply says, LIVE!

Next up on the adventures of the Mundell's while I am on break, double potty training. Lord give me strength.