News & Nerves.

After a longggg brutal wait I found out I was accepted to the UMD School of Nursing CNL masters program for fall 2015. I don't know why, but I was one of the last to be interviewed. I will never get the rolling admissions process, but who cares now right?! I started this process back in September of last year. I had my sights set on this program since Spring 2011. To say it has been a long process is an understatement. Once I submitted my first application (I had to send a second, it was mysteriously lost) in December, I did not hear anything until May for an interview (after I had stalked the website endlessly). I was also following a blog for perspective nursing students, which did nothing but make my anxiety worse and convinced me I was not even going to be asked for interview, which I knew was crap because everyone that met minimal requirements got one. 

The big day came and I had the perfect dress, one that my mother insisted on buying me months ago when I had lost a little weight (I did not want to jinx it, but she called it "the interview" dress). I left the house like two hours before interview, it was nap time and I did not want to interfere with our regularly maintained schedule. I sat outside the building downtown in the most beautiful garden. I sat and people watched, let my mind wonder, scoped out nursing students, watched the insanity unfold across the street at the ER. I asked myself, "can you do this?" I wish I had some brilliant epiphany to share with you all, unfortunately I do not and I continue to ask myself this very question every day. Of course, mom and Kurt reassure me they can handle it, "they got this". I don't for one second doubt them. It's not them, it's me. Mom guilt has ultimately consumed me. I'm being selfish, I don't want to miss a second with my kids, but I'm so thankful to have had the past two years at home with them. You see I am a walking, talking conundrum. People say, "do it now, before they get older, that's when they really need you." I see their point, but I'm an attachment parent, for Christ's sake my kids nap with me everyday. This is more about letting go of our normal lifestyle and all about reforming our lives into a structured existence, this scares the crap out of me. The work is going to be nearly impossible (both my school work and our work at home), our schedules are going to consist of colored blocks in hour intervals. I'm going to miss the hell out of my husband and kids and I hope they don't miss me, not for a second. 

The counselor tells me it's all about balance and that at some point throughout the program I will say to myself that I am a horrible mother. Well that's reassuring. In a way I like the bluntness, that's how we roll. Kurt and I both agree that two years will fly by and before I know it I will be blogging about graduation and a new exciting career. If anything is certain time does not stop and my darlings are growing before my eyes. Both of them will be in preschool this year. 

 Last time I blogged I felt like I was in a tidal wave of emotions and I couldn't breathe. Karson was just about driving me nuts. His anxiety and emotions were off the rector scale. We had just tried soccer and that was a big fail. Well I am happy to report after that first horrid week, he warmed up, he really bonded with his coach and he began to make progress. He left my side and actually stayed on the field, towards the end he even scored a couple times. He received his first trophy and told me proudly that he was a soccer star! We signed him up for fall ball and the aliens seemed to have returned my son, for the most part, I mean he is still a three-nager and ranges through emotions from zero to ten. We talked with a doctor and it seems he has high anxiety like his Dad, well duh. We got a couple tips to handle it at this age, but really it will all come down to when he is a bit older. Kurt read an article about high maintenance kids and laughed while they described our son to a tee.

Kooper is still in Rolly Pollies, she loves it and is fearless. She turns the big 2 next month and after that I might attempt to sign her up for dance lessons for the fall. I don't know though, she might be the real soccer star. Ball was one of her first words and she has a mean kick. Currently I am in overdrive preparing for her Team Umizoomi party, Of course she had to have a theme that Party City does not have in store. That's okay, one last crafting project before I start school won't hurt right?

We have a ridiculously busy summer, literally every weekend we have something going on. We just got back from a camping weekend at Jellystone. Kurt and I are leaving next week for his big 4-0 celebration in San Francisco. I am complete nerves every time I think about boarding an airplane. When we come back from that we have camping down the Ocean. All while preparing for nursing school, which doesn't seem like much, but trust me it is! I bought one of my textbooks early and have been working through relearning basic math skills so that I can do the dosage calculations that I will be tested on after the first two weeks of school. Nahh no pressure! 

This seemingly short post took about three hours to write, we had to stop for breakfast, pollies class, two poop explosions and finally lunch! Sure this school work think will be no problem at all ;0)

Ultimate Challenges.

When I decided on a title for my blog years ago, it was obvious. At the time I was anxiously awaiting to give birth to my first born. We had so many ups and downs with Karson's pregnancy I just kept telling myself, whatever will be, will be. You see this saying has always played an instrumental part in my life. As a young child my mom sang me this song, "Que Sera Sera." In researching where this song came from I found it is a hybrid language between Spanish and Latin, it's from an Alfred Hitchock movie "The Man Who Knew Too Much" starring Doris Day. Up until the age of 23 I thought this song was made up for me exclusively by my Mom. Que Sera sounded like a jumbled version of Kasey. (You have to remember I am partially dyslexic). At age 23 I decided as a tribute to my Mom and a constant reminder to myself I got this tattooed on my right wrist. It's amazing to me with the words scrolled permanently in my skin I fight so hard to have control of EVERYTHING in my life. That's where I am as I sit here today, fighting the words that have guided me through out my life.

On the opposite side of the spectrum I have taken a hold of my life in ways I can positively make a change, my health! Since puberty I have always had extra weight on my body. After two years of being pregnant my body looks like its been through a mauling. Each time in an effort to loose my baby weight I did Weight Watchers, and that was great, but I was still fueling my addiction to fast food. I knew I had to get active and quick or I was never going to make any change. About a year ago my Mom joined Jazzercise, I was intrigued. I went to one class and I was hooked and drenched from sweat. I was so impressed with these ladies, some triple my age and built like brick houses. For over a year I went, sometimes 3-4 times a week, sometimes less...like not at all, for a month. This past February they were doing a challenge 30 classes in 35 days. I went back and forth with committing. I finally presented the idea to Kurt and Mom, I needed reinforcements for childcare. They accepted the challenge with me. An addiction was born. I completed my challenge and felt energized and alive. BUT I was still eating crap! That's when I saw a former co-worker of mine's journey as a coach for Beachbody. She was starting a 21 day fix group. After research and commitment from Kurt that he would support and cook for me, God, I love that man! I jumped on board. In the beginning I am not going to lie, I was freaking hungry. I felt light headed and tired all the time. I stuck with it and started to notice changes. Only 21 days and I lost 9 pounds and several inches. I saw 158 on the scale, I didn't even know this was possible. Today is day 22 and after a cheese steak that made me feel like death last night, I'm back on board with clean eating. For all the skeptics out there reading this, if I can do this, YOU CAN! Give it a chance. I'm in no way gaining from this public service announcement HAHA. I've decided my long term goal is to rock a bikini when I go to the Ocean in August for our girls get a way trip, tiger stripes and all! I start my next endeavor with team Beachbody May 4th, Body Beast! I am a beast ;)

                                            BEFORE                                        AFTER

I was terrified to post these pictures on social media and then I thought to myself, screw it, I worked hard for these results and I am ready to show it off!

Now back to the reality that is really the challenge for me right now. My dear sweet boy has always been a bit anxious. I've always been concerned with his demeanor at times, specifically the tantrums. As of late they are exacerbated by triggers. Triggers include: putting his utensils in his food, if I do this I have to wash the utensil and give it back to him. He will not take off his winter jacket beyond the house, it must be zipped to his neck. If his father is around forget it, I can't do anything for him. Those are just the ones at the tip of my mind. Now if you know Kurt or if you've read my blog you'd know he suffers from debilitating anxiety and has several OCD tendencies. I was unaware of this until we had kids, not that it would matter, I'd love that man no matter what. I know Kurt's heart is breaking because he feels partially responsible for Karson's challenges. Unfortunately, that's the gene pool. In the past I have always been Karson's safe haven. I knew what triggered him, I avoided those things at all costs and if he flipped I was there to calm and recenter him. I can't anymore and I'm crying as I write this. I don't know what I can do to help my boy. We've decided as a family to see a therapist in an effort to work with Karson and attempt cognitive behavioral therapy. As a mother, I need tools and resources to teach me how to properly help him. I'm not trying to change Karson, never, I need to change my parenting ways. 

Last Saturday was Karson's first soccer game. I knew it was going to be rough, he was really sick after preschool Friday. Well I pushed it anyway and we went. Karson was completely disengaged and wouldn't say anything but the classic, "I want Daddy." We avoided this Thursday night at soccer practice by having Kurt not be there. How sad is it that he has to miss all these firsts because Kurt triggers Karson's anxiety and vice versa. Karson was excellent Thursday night, he was a little clown. I was over the moon and so proud. Well back to Saturday, it was horrid. I finally lost it, I scooped Karson up and just started walking and walking. I have no idea where I was going, but I wasn't going to stay there. I lost it. I had rage fill me. If you know me, you know I have the patience of a saint. I sat Karson down and had to walk away. I was so frustrated I had to walk away from my 3 year old. I'm ashamed. I could care less if he played soccer (he's the one who brought it up to us), its that he won't even try. He literally gets paralyzed by anxiety. I can't count how many times a day he says, "he's scared." The rest of the day I stewed and hated myself for my behavior. For a second, I gave up, I gave up on my son. 

I guess as a parent these are memories we sit back one day and say to ourselves,"They survived, we survived." 

Let me say once again for all you people that are reading this thinking I am complaining or ungrateful, I fight everyday for my family, I love my son and I will continue to make sure he has everything he needs in life to thrive. 

By the grace of God I have been blessed in this life with two happy and healthy children and a man who drives me flipping nuts in every good way possible. My love and dedication to them makes me the best person I can be. 

Within the next few weeks I am hoping to share exciting news, but for now I am all about not jinxing it, so until its official I am going to have to leave it To Be Continued...

Soak It Up.

My darling boy turned 3 this past week. Let me repeat that last sentence...I AM A MOTHER TO A 3 YEAR OLD! Where have the nights of endless crying gone, where have the worries of having a non-verbal toddler go, when has my precious baby grown up on me? I know when you're in the moment, completely overwhelmed and underappreciated, and someone (usually a nice older person) tells you to enjoy every moment, soak it up, "they'll be grown before you know it", you probably want to kill them. If you're like me you just smile and nod, thinking to yourself "are they freaking insane", I haven't showered in days, or took a pee by myself in years!?! Don't even get me started on the neglect of my husband (who most days feels like just another zoo keeper). I can't believe I'm admitting it out loud, but they are right. Don't blink...sure complain, get it out of your system, have bad days, admit it, it's all about survival, you are human Super Mom, but don't ever...not for one second wish that time away. Before you know it, you'll be writing a post about how your baby, the only first born you'll ever have, is talking to you like a real person. You'll struggle to remember those first labor pains, the sore milk filled boobs, the way they felt when they fit perfectly into your arms. I sit here writing this tearing up. Those are days I will never get back and memories I will never make again, not with this child or with any other.

I am ashamed to admit I took those days, many months and milestones with Karson for granted. I was a first time clueless Mom. I was lonely, though in reality I was never alone, I always had my little guy with me. I suffered from the baby blues, I wondered why I didn't feel and look like every other Mom grinning and just over the moon plastering pictures to show all over Facebook. I had no idea what I was doing, or how important the job I had been given really was. When he started growing, I would rush him. Rush him to stop breastfeeding, rush him to sit up, crawl, stand up, walk, getting off the bottle, talk. You name it and I rushed it! Damn, I was dumb. I look at pictures and videos and kick myself in the ass over and over again. What I would not give to have those moments back. My vow to this crazy, anxious, sweet, spoiled rotten little boy is to NEVER rush him again. He is his father's son and everything is on his terms and you know what, I am completely okay with that. So you know what, he'll wear diapers until he's ready, he'll sleep with his Daddy until he's ready to stop. Is this lazy parenting, the easy way out, sure you can look at it that way. Am I letting my child dictate to me? If you think so. But like I tell people, when you wipe his butt and kiss his boo-boos, then and only then can you tell me how to raise my kid.

So Mom, I have this infinite wisdom to share. You might have days that feel never ending, but the years fly by; sit down, relax and enjoy the ride and learn by my mistake and don't rush!

New Year, New Memories.

Happy 2015!!!

 

I can't get over how fast the last year has gone. It utterly depresses me that I have not blogged since last June. I can't even begin to catch up with all that's happened with our crew, our life changes on a daily basis. I don't make resolutions, but I try to come with ideas to better myself for the New Year. Three years ago I began this blog while I was pregnant with Karson, it was my New Year's resolution for 2013 and for the first time I did remarkably well on a resolution. It wasn't until now that I've really slacked off. And it’s not like I haven't thought about blogging, I have actually attempted several times. I have the drafts as proof! I usually get a couple sentences in and the water works start, or someone poops. Story of my life.


In an attempt to replay the last six months of my life, I'll bullet point:


July: Kurt and I had our birthdays, the big 27 and 39. We had a wonderful night’s stay at a Baltimore hotel. My brother and sister in law were also there celebrating their summer birthdays. Grams had all five kids (bless her heart). We had a wonderful time, ate the best ribs of my life and had adult conversation. I love spending time with my brother and Kellie, it doesn't happen often that we don't have kids demanding something from us. Oh and I finally made it to Artscape (I've only been attempting that since I was 18). We bought Natty Boh art and we love it.

August: Beanie turned one! My sweet girl decided to take a couple of her first steps while she was opening presents. She's such a show-off! The weather was beautiful and company was even better. My Uncle Vi was able to be there (at this point it was hit or miss due to his health). We had a blast, swam, had slip and slide races, all while celebrating our hippie chick! After the party Grammy and Pop left us for Sturgis (they were gone for three weeks!) Felt like forever and we were left in charge of the bus company. Let's just say we were glad to have them back!

September: We went camping for the annual bike week down Frontier Town. Karson loves camping! He would go every weekend if he could. The year prior we had a horrible time. This year we had fun, we shopped and made it down to the ocean for some boardwalk time. Now that I think about it Karson was feeling sick and he ended up sleeping the whole ride home.

 
Karson started PRESCHOOL! He is a furry friend in the 2 year old program at Magothy. Whew. The transition was hard for Karson. I got called back to school a couple times because they could not settle him down. I actually got used to just sitting in the parking lot for two hours. I was strong about the separation for the most part. Kurt couldn't handle it, he went once and that was that. Karson has grown leaps and bounds and is finally adjusted!


October: We had a weekend camping trip with the cousins for Halloween! Karson was in heaven. I had asked Karson what he wanted to be for Halloween and he told me, "A TRASH TRUCK". Of course. So, I began to research. I tried to get out of making the costume, but frankly no one sells them. I originally recruited Kurt for the job, but he didn't have the same creative vision. I might be a perfectionist, so I took over. About 20 hours went into the project and maybe $40 spent for a family of four on Halloween costumes! Koop was the fly to Karson's trash truck and Mommy and Daddy were the trash men. Our costume was a hit! And Karson wore that trash truck so proudly!!!

I found out I did not get accepted into the PA program. I had a feeling it wasn't going to work out. I decided to start researching other programs and went back to my original plan for UMD nursing school.


November: I got sick for two weeks with a crazy illness that would not go away! Moms don't have time to get sick, are you kidding me! We had a great holiday with my cousins. Unfortunately, Uncle Vi's health had taken a turn for the worst and he was unable to be there. A week later and he was gone. By the grace of God his suffering was cut short. We all celebrated his life the way he would want, a big Italian meal with family close. My Uncle Vi was a standup man. They don't make them like him anymore. He was genuinely the definition of timeless. He taught by example. Family was life. He was our patriarch, always there in the corner, the first in line for food and the one shaking his head with a smile on his face. I will miss him always and cherish the memories and ALWAYS put my family first.


Oh and beanie had her cyst removal surgery the day before Thanksgiving. She did awesome! I was pretty calm for the most part. I went back with her while they put her under. That was pretty tough and the nurse asked me if I was going to cry, but I rocked it. It was the longest hour of my life. Thank God for that long ass article of Jennifer Lawrence in Vogue. She styled her eye shield for three days.

December: I had a girl's night in the Big Apple planned for some time and it was finally here! I was nervous, excited, felt a little guilty. I didn't realize how much I needed that trip! I laughed, I cried, I saw Jake Gyllenhaal and danced my face off! It was like a breath of fresh air, a therapy session. I was myself, not a mom. I was Kasey, the fun, the loud, the pushy. I'm still here under all this snot and worry. Thank you girls for that trip! I love you both. Our Christmas was low key and just right. The kids were treated wonderfully, but not spoiled. We got some fun stuff, like bikes and Mommy's favorite, Play-Doh and Sands Alive! Karson understood the Santa concept this year and that was fun. I've always had an empty feeling about Christmas, pretty much ever since my Grandmother died. I finally feel fulfilled. The Christmas spirit is contagious when you have little ones.

Courtesy of Ashley Landon Photography

 
We rang in the New Year tugged under the covers in our warm bed! Both kids had been a little under the weather and we just wanted to be lazy. I knew it was midnight by the sounds of the fireworks going off. I paused my Netflix show, turned to my sleeping babes and kissed them both. My favorite New Year’s kiss ever.


All the while Daddy has been chugging away at school and has one more semester! He is loving the cooking, not so much the papers. I might have bailed him out on one or two times. We aren't entirely sure what he is going to do with the certificate, maybe nothing right now. He has started car hauling for my stepdad and he seems optimistic about it. I've been working 15-20 shifts on call and the death investigation business always keeps me entertained. I recently have been getting my application together for the deadline.
 

Karson and Kooper are happy, healthy, brilliant babies! Karson is very into trucks, knows his alphabet and is extremely active. Kooper is addicted to me (and nursing, yes still), she loves everything girlie and has to have her pearls on before she leaves the house. Every day is an adventure with these two. I never know what the day will bring and I love it!

 

A New Era.

Here we are again, its been three months since I've written, but in actuality I thought about writing at least once a day, okay- I'm lying at least once a week. The winter is finally a fond memory and the summer is starting off with a big bang for the Mundell family and a lot of change. As most of you know about a year ago we lost Kurt's dad Larry. Since his death the Mundell family has had its fair share of ups and downs. Our beloved Aunt Nee had a hip replacement and double mastectomy. We are all so proud of her strength. She is a true fighter and one hell of a lady! We all haven't had much time to grieve, but I think in our own ways we get through the days. The guys usually spend time together and "make fun" of the Larryisms, they are priceless. I usually spend time just replaying the memories I have of Larry and I can't get "that day" out of my head, its on constant rewind. In some ways I don't think we really have even realized he is gone. My heart breaks every time I look at Bean and realize they will never meet. On a lighter note, Kurt and Eric just completed a nightmare project that just won't end, actually the swing set is still not done. And the replacement part we ordered was wrong, found that little treasure out today when we opened the mysterious package on our front door step. Joy! Like Eric says, "You just can't make this shit up!" I always thought the boys were being dramatic, but we Mundell's do have silly dumb bad luck. Being an optimistic, I'd like to think it's because we are so blessed when it comes to the big stuff.

Larry gave us a chance to invest in our future. To make changes we normally would not be able to do. He left us a gift that we will forever be in debt to him for. So, Kurt quit his job, he decided to go back to school and he is now enrolled in the Culinary Arts program. Anyone that knows Kurt knows how it takes him foreverrr to make a big decision. This was talked about and beaten like a dead horse, I think that's the saying. I'm so proud of his courage to make a change and enter the unknown. He hasn't quit mechanics entirely just yet, he is working for the bus company to keep us fed. He is doing well so far and I love how he has a bounce back in his step. We have a business plan in the works, but we'll keep that for next time.

I unfortunately, have slipped a little bit. I've always been so focused when it has come to my future career goals, but lately I don't have the energy or desire to think about five years from now when I do everything in my power to get through the day with two happy and healthy babes. I go this Saturday to bomb the GRE. No, I'm not being modest, I'm being realistic. I dropped the prep courses because I just didn't have the time to devote to doing algebra with two screaming kids in the other room. Sure, could I have, probably. I just didn't want to. I've spent my pregnancies and most of the kids infancy in school. I was beyond ready for this break. I have almost completed the CASPA application to PA school, the last component is the GRE scores and my narrative. Why I want to be a PA? Ask me this a year ago and I could write you novel. Today, after I eat my BLT I'll be lucky to have ten minutes to cut my nails. I lack the inspiration, the desire and quite frankly the motivation. I'm hoping this is a passing phase, because I ultimately know that I want to be a PA. For the first time, the unknown does not excite me, it scares the shit out of me. This is the internal struggle, mom versus working professional. On a happy note, I am absolutely in heaven with mom life. Mom of two was made for me. The kids are growing like weeds and thriving!

Karson has one day a month where the speech teacher comes to check in on him. He has made leaps and bounds and has an extensive vocabulary. He is still shy when it comes to large crowds and strangers. His tantrums are few and far between. Praise God! He is loving having Dad at the bus company when he goes to work. He is an outside kid, you have to beg him to come in most days. Except when its hot, he hates it! He loves reading books, every night with Dada. We had our first boo boo. Glue to the forehead. He was a champ, didn't move an inch when he was getting it done. He rocked it at his Pre-schools bike-a-thon. Of course, I am a bad mom and did not have a helmet for him. In my defense it was the first time the tricycle has been out of the house. He usually rides it in the kitchen. And we lost him at a family party. Quick story, he followed my step dad upstairs. I couldn't find either of them and completely freaked. My heart literally stopped and the panic I felt has been the worst feeling in my life. I'm telling you I would put him in a bubble if I could.

Kooper is pulling her self up and scaling the walls. She has six teeth and I feel like she is getting more. The drool is non-stop. She talks up a storm, Mama and Dada. She is still nursing, very little, and lovesss to eat, anything, all the time. She adores Karson and does things to make him laugh. He is in for it now that she is on the move. He realizes she ain't as easy to push around anymore. Her smile melts my heart and she is my girl. We went to the eye specialist for her cyst.. She will be having surgery once she turns one, but her vision is perfect. It will be a quick outpatient surgery with anesthesia and stitches, just a lot of nerves from Mommy. She will be the big 1 at the beginning of August and I better start planning her bash, a swim party!

You'll probably hear our updates in another three months. I'm not even going to make any false promises.

Blessings.

I would be lying if I said I haven't attempted to blog. I've tried a handful of times and just figured it wasn't meant to happen. Up until last October I had done really well with my New Years Resolution from 2012. I made a promise to myself that I should take the time to blog about once a month. Of course this blog has become my mom space, this was not what I had originally intended. At the time I was expecting my first child and life was completely different (I was still peeing by myself). Fast forward to now and I am a mother of two...yeah TWO! And to top it all off she is already 7 months old. My baby girl is growing fast before my eyes and I am growing right along with her.

Part of the reason I had not blogged was because I haven't really had the time and secondly I had a serious case of writers block. I was going to blog about sanctimommy's and how prevalent they have become in the mommy community (so over it). I was going to blog about all the career changes that are going to take place soon. I could go on and on about Kurt's anxiety, Karson's lack of speech, Kooper's milestones and my internal struggle for mommy greatness and wanting a career. I feel like all of those topics would make for good reading, but I want to make great reading. To be honest I am not entirely sure how to do that. I am at a stagnant point in my life and I feel like I only relate to other moms and they only relate to me, which makes for a lonely existence because I don't have many friends with kids. And with that brings all the judgey sanctimommy's. When did motherhood become a "cool kid click"? Its nuts. Doesn't it matter that we are all just trying to do the best for our children (well most of us are).

In this particular post I don't want to make quick jokes and banter about the adventures of mothering. I want to get down to the real feels that go along with t
he job. A few weeks ago Kurt and I were out with friends. Most of the time before we get together with our friends, we make each other promise that we will not spend the entire night talking about the little people that run our lives. I mean we did just leave them for a few hours, a break we both desperately needed. So in the beginning of the night we ate, drank and talked. Glorious. Then I realized holy hell it was 9 o'clock. You read that right! I quickly gave the once over to Kurt who had just ordered another beer. Well, while drinking his last beer and me ready to run home to get the kids, we broke, we talked about the kids. My one friend made the comment that stuck with me, "I don't know if I want to be a Mom, you guys are just so real about parenting, other people just make it sound so easy." There is truth to this statement, but let me break it down.

Yes, Kurt and I are bluntly honest, about everything, not just parenting. Our conversations are meant to be real, not negative. I feel like sometimes people might misjudge and think we don't love parenting. We do! But unlike those who put a fake smile on, while their inner parent is ready to scream, we tell the truth, as raw and real as that might be. Parenting is by far the hardest thing I have ever done in my 26 years and in Kurt's 38, maybe because we make it that way for ourselves or maybe because we are doing are damndest to do a great, not just good job. Sure some days are harder than others, but there is nothing in this world that I rather be than Mom. These tiny people can literally make me want to climb the walls one moment and break down and thank God they are in my life the next. Even when Karson is melting down in the middle of Costco, not for one second would I want to be anywhere else than with him.

My dear friends, parent, don't just do it because its the next phase. Do it because there is nothing else in this world that matters more to you. You will never be ready for a little person to dictate your life, but when you hold them for the first time it becomes clear this is the greatest gift from God. He has entrusted you to guide this tiny human through life, to love them to the moon and back, to be there for them emotionally and literally. Parent, because it is the blessing of a lifetime.

A Poop a Day!

We have been in a complete whirlwind of diapers, baths, walks, Rolly Pollies and everything else that consists in a day in the life of this momma and her brood. I can't believe how fast my maternity leave has flown by. Having two definitely keeps you busy. Every other day the washer is going. With all the work,we have also had so much fun. Each day I tried to do different things with the kids. We went to the zoo, Storyville and the park. We learned all sorts of things; like ducks like to eat Goldfish, where the best truck watching spot is in Pasadena, that the library has lots of free fun, that both kids really enjoy strolling in our double stroller and that I love being an active mom. Staying at home day in and day out makes me go nuts! Now I even have a cute reliable car to pack the kids up and it fits everything we need for our days adventure. About this time during my maternity leave with Karson I was itching to go back to work, I'm dreading it now. There is SO much for me to do at home. We all have some serious soul searching and talking to do because I feel like change is in the air, and for the better.

Jelly has been progressing wonderfully. She is awake most of the day and her smile is to die for. She follows Karson with her eyes. She loves car rides, most of the time. We had her 2 months checkup she was 12 lbs and 23 inches. The doctor could not get over how sweet and well mannered she was. I have to say she is my chill baby and oh my is she cute! I find myself telling her that little tid-bit too much! My mom says she is starting to look like me as a baby, I can see it a bit. People always comment about how the kids look alike. They really do! We have had some sleeping struggles; she wants to nurse for hours before finally giving into sleeping in her crib. Once you get her down though, she is pretty good about staying asleep and only waking once or twice for feedings. I've been pretty well rested, especially since I get the bed to myself. Kurt sleeps with Karson just about every night. It’s just easier for them. 

Peanut has been struggling with his speech. He is 20 months now and is 26 lbs. and 33 inches and way too smart for his own good. He is into everything. He is starting to play pretend and keep himself entertained for longer periods. He is giving me a break in the morning and watching an hour of cartoons so Jelly and I can sleep in. Hell yeah. About a month ago my mom brought it to my attention that I needed to contact Infant/Toddler program. We went yesterday for his evaluation. I could not believe how well he did. He has been really clingy lately, very shy, so I was dreading how this would go. They put him at a desk and chair in the corner and started playing with blocks, the teacher went through several toys, asking him questions. He aced it! I was a proud momma. He is slow with his expressive speech, which we knew. He will start speech therapy in the next couple of weeks and I am excited! I long to hear the word "momma"! We need to start potty training, because this kid is peeing through his clothes every day. We joined Rolly Pollies, the gym class a few weeks ago, he loves it and is a total climber. The uneven bars are his favorite; he hangs like a crazy monkey. 

The kids love being together. Karson totally notices when Koop is not around. He looks out for her, when she is crying he talks to her and puts her pacifier in her mouth. When she spits up, Karson wipes her mouth. He hugs and kisses on her endlessly. Koop loves watching Karson play. She actually smiles at him when he comes up to her bouncer. It’s going to be a blast watching these two grow up together. I gave them their first bath together, they loved it. I will keep these pictures for collateral. I hope they remain close, siblings are irreplaceable. I am a proud momma; I got great kids and a pretty awesome partner in crime.

To end this update on a funny note, yesterday during Karson's evaluation I smelled something odd, not stinky. I thought it had a sweet odor to it so I thought maybe it was the teacher’s perfume? Well at the end of the evaluation, the teacher picked Karson up to show him the trash truck. It became obvious he pooped his pants. I thought maybe he had, but I was not about to interrupt his test, plus I didn't have wipes because they were in the diaper bag with Koop. Bad mom move. I even said to myself as we left the house, I better take the wipes out of the bag. Opps! The other lady in the room said I think someone had a little accident, so I figured she smelt it. She told me the ladies room with a changing table was down the hall; well it was worthless because I did not have wipes. I thought we are only 5 minutes from home; he will just have to wait. Well I get out to the car, go to put him in the seat and there was poop all down my sweater sleeve, up his back. No wonder she said he had an accident, then it dawned on me after the teacher put him down he ran to me and fell, his shirt went up and she saw the poop up his back. I was mortified. I undressed him and put his shirt against the seat. I stripped down to my undershirt. I didn't want poop in my new car. Thankfully, we did not get pulled over or in an accident because we would have had some explaining to do. So we both rode home in the buff. I couldn't help but smile because I was still beaming from his test! Lesson learned no grapes for breakfast the day of a big test!!!

And as I conclude this post with Koop on my lap, Jelly has had explosive poop that has gone through her Ravens pj's, Karson is laughing hysterically at the farts. Literally my life is full of shit! Glorious, loving, wouldn't have it any other way shit!