The last couple of weeks the one question that I keep getting from people is, "Do you enjoy being a parent?" What the hell kind of question is that? I'm assuming that Kurt and I get confronted with this question because we are first time parents? Who the hell knows. So when people ask me I look at them and think is this someone that wants me to smile and say "Oh I absolutely love it" OR is this someone I can be honest with. Well in short, here's the real answer. Everyday I wake up, walk across the hall and I have this little person who depends on me for survival looking up at me (most of the time screaming his head off). I pick him up, change him and attach the little booger to my boob. Then we begin our day, regardless of what we get into, you can bet their will be tantrums, poop and sore boobies. The night comes and the gremlin fights every bit of the night time routine. His father comes home and finds that three hours later I am still fighting to put him to sleep. The quiet occurs and I sleep with a blinding light (the video monitor) in my face. One (or two) late night feedings later and there you have it...my day as a parent. Is it Groundhog's Day? Oh no my life is on constant repeat? Neither, reality has set in I am a mother!
By now your thinking wow this lady really hates parenthood or being a mother. Well you couldn't be any further from the truth. I'll let you in on a sick little secret, I have never been as happy in my life as I am when my little booger wakes me up for a 5:30 feeding. In the quiet darkness I sit rocking him as he looks into my eyes and although he can't say it yet, I feel an incredible burst of the deepest love I have ever felt. So when someone asks me this question when I am doing everything in my power to quiet my baby down from bursting the eardrums of those around us, I want to smack the person. How could any sane person love this. No one ever asks me this question when I am having one of my life altering mother moments. YES! I enjoy being a parent. What I really enjoy is the hilarity of it all!!!
Two quick lighthearted moments to put a smile on your face.
1. The husband, baby and I were in the grocery store yesterday. I was pushing a cart with the baby in his car seat (this is another subject, but I am going to invent something easier for mother's to take infants shopping in) my husband had the actual grocery cart. We were strolling through and the baby started to wake up, I quickly exited the aisle and stood by the strange meat rack (there is a strange odor and is usually a safe place to get away from everyone else) and continued to move the cart back and forth trying to soothe the baby and put his butt back to sleep to finish the epic shopping trip. Just then, a pregnant girl (maybe 16) turns the corner with her mother. She longingly looks over at our cart and peers into the car seat. I could just see the "Aww, I can't wait to have my baby look on her face". The cynical mother I am, knowing what this poor girl's life is going to be like in less than 3 months smirked. I freaking smirked, like a devil, almost evil really. I started to chuckle and couldn't restrain myself. Oh honey this is reality, this ain't MTV.
2. Sitting in bed with my "good sweats" on. Don't judge me (if your a mother you know what these are). I look down and there is a puddle of a wet spot just near my crotch. "What the hell" I thought? Where did this come from? First, I made sure I didn't pee myself (so I slacked on my kegels). Nope. Second, made sure the baby did not throw up or slobber. Nope. Third, "Shit are my boobs leaking AGAIN?!? I just changed my shirt. Nope. Perplexed, I did what any other wondering mother would do, that's right you guessed it, I smelled it. Hmmm, didn't really have a scent. I then decided on waking my baby because I could not rest until I knew where this wet spot came from. I did the one two look over exam, then the pat down. Ah ha! I found it! My wonderful boy had such a mega pee from the 4 oz bottle he had just consumed, he leaked through his diaper, undershirt and new onesie onto my sweats. The mystery was solved. Sad part, the highlight of my day. I couldn't wait until Kurt got home so I could share the news with him. For the audience I have decided to leave out the multiple stories of poop stains that have shown up in the strangest places. Scooby might have the mystery machine, but I have the mommy mysteries that will one day make millions.
Until Next Mystery.
Happy Belated St. Patty's Day!
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