Scaredy Cat

I thought the title was appropriate for this time year, which also happens to my absolute favorite holiday! October has been filled with fun stuff every weekend; we have been running in circles. Karson loves it! He is a busier boy these days and most of the time he much rather be out running around on the town than be stuck at home. Last weekend we started our holiday off with a big bang. Mom, C-Pops, Kurt, myself and Karson traveled to P.A. for our first RV trip. Thank You Grammy & C-Pops. Karson loved every minute of it. He enjoyed the people watching, he rode a hayride, handed out candy to trick or treaters. He wasn't scared of any of the costumes! I knew he wouldn't be, he enjoyed the life size creepies in the Halloween Spirit store. I decided to give in and spend a fortune on a group Halloween costume for my Mom, Kurt, Karson & I. I won't spill the surprise just yet, but I will be sure to post a photo. We have two parties to attend this weekend, the first my little cousin Ryan is turning 18 and then Kurt & I have an adult party for a wonderful friend. We just have to get through Friday, which is the worst (Chemistry lab and then I dedicate the rest of the day for doing the insane amount of work that we receive). 

Next weekend is Kurt & I's second wedding anniversary. We are traveling to Cumberland for a murder mystery dinner and train ride. Grammy will have Karson yet again. We are very excited to have some Mommy & Daddy time, we try to have it at least once a month, sometimes everyday life gets in the way, but its important to remember that without Kurt and the love I have for him, there would be no Karson. I adore both of my boys. I can't believe how fast the last two years have gone, we have been very busy! There is never a dull moment with Kurt and I love it. I am so proud to call him my husband, and so very blessed to have him in my life and to have him be the father of my child. I could not have picked a better man for the job. God broke the mold when he created Kurt. I only hope that Karson will be just as good as a man, he does have an excellent role model. I love this crazy ride we're on, I have the best line buddy ever and every so often we are that sappy pda couple. You know the type.

I found another interesting article on babycenter, (I'm telling you I maybe go on the website twice a month and every time I find information that either intrigues me or pisses me off). The article was titled, "Forty-two things that change when you have a baby." It should have been titled, "Everything changes when you have a baby!" That's the truth! Either way number two was the one that struck a nerve, "Where you once believed you were fearless, you now find yourself afraid."  Preach on! Throughout this whole journey I have been pretty relaxed, I would be the laid back counterpart of our production. Even when I was being wheeled to the OR for my emergency c-section I had this eerily calm presence. I knew deep down in my gut that everything would be okay. I have angels and I felt their presence that day for sure. When we brought Karson home, we were clueless, but I was never afraid. I didn't have to keep vigil by his crib every night. I knew he wasn't going to stop breathing. When he was teething and crying so hard he would turn purple, I knew we were going to survive this too. I must say I have been remarkably brave. I can't take the credit, because I know a couple people above are working their magic.  Sure, with every passing day I can feel myself getting older, I'm banking on the fact I will be gray by the time I am 30. The true reason why I don't give into my fear is because if I did, I would put Karson in a bubble and lock the doors forever. I have never truly experienced true gut-wrenching heart throbbing fear until I became a parent. I watch stories on T.V. about kids going missing and I feel like I could barf. I grab Karson and squeeze him. I hear about a family whose child died when I am at work, and it takes everything in my power to not grab my keys and fly home to Karson. I see sick children on commercials and I feel my stomach flip. All of these are my greatest fears, sure I might not openly say, "I'm scared, but I am literally shaking in my shoes." I know I can't live my life in fear, that statement reassures me and is the only thing sometimes that keeps me sane. 

My counterpart Kurt has been more open about the fear and anxiety that being a parent has brought on. The other night while I was at work Kurt was watching in the monitor and noticed Karson had rolled over onto his belly (his new favorite sleeping position) except he had his face down on the mattress. At first Kurt just went in to make sure he could breathe. When he reached in and it was not obvious Kurt flipped and grabbed Karson up out of bed and began to attempt to arouse him. Karson slowly looked up at his father and I am sure gave him a dirty look for waking him up. I received a frantic call that had me doing everything I could think of to calm Kurt down. I thought we had Kurt's panic licked. Unfortunately, Monday night while we were all laying around watching The Voice, Karson started making weird breathing sounds when he was falling asleep in my arms. I panicked and before I could do anything, Kurt had grabbed Karson and began to pound on his back. Karson woke up and was smiling. (The little turd smiles when he coughs, he loves seeing us flip out). I was trying to monitor his breathing, but my heart was pounding so hard, my hands were shaking. I knew that he was breathing and this incident did not warrant 911, I called my Mom and told her to come over asap. C-Pops and her were here in a minute. They undressed him and played with him. My Mom listened to his heart and lungs with our first aid stethoscope. His Grammy prognosis was great. We chalked the sounds up to him having some milk left in his throat after falling asleep. The next morning I called the doctor to be sure, he has been pulling at his right ear lately too, so I thought I would kill two birds with one stone. Just as I expected Karson was perfect, the doctor even said so. A lot of wax for a little one, but no other concerns. I told the doctor about the incident with Kurt and she said I had brought the wrong boy in to see the doctor, like we had suspected Kurt has some serious anxiety issues. We are trying to tackle them without medications, but no matter what it needs to be controlled. I thought my fear was bad, Kurt's fear NEVER takes a break. I couldn't imagine that. I would be nutty. Our challenge is to overcome our daily anxieties to enjoy life. Like anything thrown our way, we are going to overcome it. We are Mundell’s after all!

I will leave you all with this little token, don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game. Life is scary, being a parent is terrifying, but it is worth every minute of it. C'mon look at that smile!

The Drooling Kickstand Kid

My muse has been especially active lately. It is like a switch has gone off and he knows it’s time to get moving. Throughout the last 8 months people have told me to embrace the "baby stage" once they are mobile there is no stopping them. We aren't there quite yet, but almost. He is pretty much doing EVERYTHING but crawling. I got an e-mail today from babycenter and decided to open it up for a change (I'm glad I did) I got a little chuckle out of it. So for those of you who try endlessly to explain the magic of how your baby gets from one spot to another without actually crawling here's the list:

Lifestyles of the Almost Crawling

• Commando: Baby slides silently on stomach, pushing off with only her tippy toes.
• Kickstand: Baby gets up on hands and one knee, but second leg sticks out to the side and appears to be cemented into the floor.
• Drag racing: Baby achieves successful forward motion, but drags one foot behind her like it's a weight tied to her body with a leg.
• A little backward: Baby sees a desired object, only to experience frustration when crawling moves her farther away from it.
• The crab: Baby moves sideways in a "scuttling" motion.
• Roll over Beethoven: Not so much crawling as a kind of blowing-tumbleweed movement from one spot to another. But hey – whatever works. 

For the past 5 months Karson has been wearing a bib, correction two bibs. At first we thought "Oh boy he is getting his first tooth!" (We are such rookies and fools). We are still waiting on that damn tooth! Now it’s just irritating (what's the purpose of dressing him up if you can never see his clothes?) Forget about the cute onesies with the adorable sayings or emblems. And what about the band t-shirts!?!? That's Dad's serious concern. We first started with the cute little bibs that come with special outfits, and then we moved onto a simple terry cloth, we threw on an extra one for good measure. We thought we were almost in the clear. We have anxiously waited for the day our little monster would get some teeth! He now goes through about 15 bibs a day. Not to mention all the outfit changes due to the drool that somehow still ends up on his shirt. I'm not even going to get into the drool on the floor, our bed, his toys and us. If you walk in my house you will end up being drooled on! You think a St. Bernard is bad; a dog has nothing on my kid! I've even considered the tablets you can pop in their mouths to contain some of the drool. People wonder why I don't get dressed up; seriously do I have to explain? What's the best part of teething you ask? Why of course, the fact that my child tries to eat me. We have been known to lovingly refer to Karson as "Zombie Baby". I like to think his zombie impression is his way of trying to kiss me (don't judge). He is like a puppy, anything that can go into his mouth will, especially our TV remotes. When we are playing in bed and he sees one it’s like he is possessed, nothing matters except getting the remote. (We all know how dangerous remotes can be and if I have to hear my mother lecture me about batteries one more time.) Point is I don't care how many teethers you buy or which kind of gourmet cookies. Your baby is going to put everything in their mouth you don't want them to. Today, while making spud laugh I noticed a little blood on his gum and there it was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. The top of a tooth! Now we've been seeing white lines for months, been dealing with the drooling, teething and the tantrums caused by the pain so....I am not getting to excited just yet, but that little booger gave me some hope that a tooth will be making an appearance here soon. On the flip side this whole process is so bitter sweet. I love watching him smile and seeing his "old man gums". He will be able to start eating "big boy food". Noooo! My baby. It just about broke my heart when he stopped nursing and now this. Don't let my excessive antics fool you, I love this stage. Heck I just love this kid! He is so entertaining at this stage to watch, you can just see him learning things by the minute. He is taking in everything and getting into everything.

It has been a full week since Kurt started his day job. Hooray, it was reality. You know it use to seem like the evenings would linger forever. Now it seems like the days are pretty lengthy too. I'm sure this is due to the fact we start our day at 6:30am. Whew, I will never be a morning person, even if I get to wake up to the most adorable smile. I peel myself from bed, do a diaper change in the darkness, shuffle to the kitchen to turn on the 98 Rock morning show (Thank You Daddy) and search for the coffee. I am just so thankful that Karson is on point and ready to play, which means he isn't to needy. Having Kurt change shifts just really made me realize how much I loved how he would wake up with Karson. Regardless of my anti-morning stance I am so thrilled to have Kurt home at 3:30 every day. I don't think we have spent this much time together since the beginning, when we had just started dating. It is very refreshing to know I still enjoy him and his craziness, plus we have this wonderful boy who keeps us on our toes. We have dinner as a family, go for walks on nice days, run errands, and clean the house, just having an extra set of hands to get the littlest things done helps tremendously. We are a team, a great one at that. Spud misses Grammy sometimes, but he gets to see her on days when I have to sleep after work. We are in a great place, a happy place! 

We had a little bump in the road last week when I started having severe stomach pains. I let them go and eventually my mother convinced me to go to the doctor. His diagnosis, couldn't tell me a damn thing. We were off to get a sonogram, results were normal. I made my mother happy and decided I was done, no more doctors. Then just when I think the worst is over I had the most debilitating headache hit me in the middle of my favorite Chinese food. I literally thought I was going to die. My eyes crossed, I lost vision and forming a sentence was almost impossible. Kurt wanted to rush me to the ER immediately, I begged him not to. Instead we went to my Mom's who was watching Karson for us. After about 30 minutes of pain, a few nice so nice words with my mother and husband and it was over. I won no hospital. I thought to myself this stuff cannot be normal. I am only 25, why do I feel like crap all the time, why do I require more sleep than my child. If my stomach doesn't hurt then my head does. Next morning we were off to get a abdominal CAT scan, once again results are normal. I'm done, but I made a promise to my mother that if the pains came back I would get a physical and take care of myself. NO, I am not pregnant. I know someone was thinking it! Worst part, the husband said no more baby making until I start feeling better. Good thing I feel great (right now that is). It’s all a mystery. I'm sure the stress from my classes doesn't help matters. I am pulling my hair strand by strand. I have already started the countdown to the end of the semester. 

                                                               Raven's Nation

                                                           Excited for Halloween!