Addiction or "habits" are powerful evils and they don't
discriminate. It's our fault our little boy is in the current predicament that
has shaken our routine to the core and in the process has tested our sanity.
The first step is to admit your faults right? Well here it goes, "I am an
enabler". This whole story starts about 14 months ago when two crazy
lovebirds welcomed their bundle of joy into the world. We were happy, over the
moon and completely freaking clueless! We had such a hard time with breastfeeding,
Karson would fall asleep every time he went to feed, I didn't think anything of
it. Well this resulted in him losing too much weight his first week of life. We
fixed the problem, pressing a cold cloth against his face when he would fall
asleep. Pretty much torturing him however we could to get him to eat. This
progressed into "nursing down" a technical term for giving
him the boob or bottle to go to bed. This method has not been an issue for us
until now. We are told its time for Karson to give up the bottle. For most kids
this would seem like a rather simple command, but the bottle is his comfort. He
has never had a pacifier (minus the day the professional photographer came to
our house for his newborn pictures), thank you Karson. He does not have a blanky
or stuffed animal he goes to for nurturing or comfort either. The bottle is his
vice and obviously ours too. He is addicted to milk; he would consume 32 oz a
day if we would allow it. We have now begun the tedious process of fixing our
mistakes and slowly weaning him off the bot.
If you have seen
the T.V. show Intervention, then you kind of know how the first night went. We
sat him down and explained to him that the bot was destroying his life; it was
taking over his relationships and turning him into a monster. Seriously though,
it kinda is. Mind you this all started because he has been sick with diarrhea
for the past week and the doc said no more milk until we kick this stomach bugs
butt. So Tuesday night went a little something like this: We let him play well
beyond bed time, about 9:45 he started the call, crying for milk and pointing
out to the kitchen. We let this go on for about 45 minutes, crying, screaming,
choking, throwing himself around on the bed as if he was possessed (if you
don't believe us I have proof, this time I videotaped for all the
non-believers). Finally, after our heads were aching and I was in tears we
decided "cold turkey" wasn't gonna work for this kid. We gave him 2
oz of milk and 2 of water. He sipped for 5 minutes and was out. We nursed that bot
all night long, every time he woke up crying for it. Nap time was another
challenge, thankfully he played outside so hard the next day he fell asleep in
his highchair eating. I got off easy that day. Last night I had to work and
Kurt was horribly sick with the same stomach bug our loving son has had, so
Karson went to Grammy's for a sleepover. He went down with a 2 oz bot, but at 2
am all hell broke loose when Karson woke up and would not go back to sleep in
the pack and play, but wanted to sleep with Grammy in bed.
This sag-ways into our next bad habit....
Co-sleeping. Or as
I lovingly refer to it as cuddle bugging. Well Grammy don't play that game and
she was not giving in. Karson proceeded to cry for 3 hrs straight until pure
exhaustion took over and he passed out. I give my Mom major credit because I cannot
do it, I don't have the will power. Hence the conundrum we are facing. In 3
months we are going to have another little bear that will need a place to
sleep, a crib. Since Karson doesn't use his we have talked about getting a big
boy bed, but before this happens we need to get him out of bed with us. I've
read up on the topic and obviously "the crying out method" is not for
us. I ordered a new book on Amazon today in hopes to gain some new insight and
fix this issue and completely skip it for baby number two. It wasn't always
this way; he slept in his crib until he was about 9 months old. He got his
first illness and I was a sucker. In between Mom and Dad ever since. He starts
out in his crib and an hour into dream land and he cries for us to come get
him. Prior to having children co-sleeping was a no go, never! I understood the
dangers of it, saw it firsthand. Then you become a member of the walking dead
and you start to sing a different tune. When he was a real little guy I didn't
feel comfortable, then he packed on the pounds and was able to roll around in
bed and kick us to the side and hog the middle, I knew he was safe. Now it is
just a matter of how long can we go on like this? I also didn't help matters by
allowing nap time with Mommy every day. I work nights and sometimes that's the
only way I can get some shut eye too. Now it’s festered into I am not allowed
to leave the bed, or he wakes up. Needless to say, I have nap time everyday
too, which is prefect now because I am pregnant and tired, but what the hell is
gonna happen when I have two?!?!?
I feel defeated,
like a failure, I failed my child, but then I think about "parenting
rules". Who is this all Supreme Being telling me I can't have my kid sleep
with us, or drink a bottle until he is ready to give it up? Will these bad
habits really hurt him in the long run? Sometimes I feel like society is
rushing our little ones to grow up too soon. Isn't it bad enough
little girls are dressing like their in their twenties and little boys have
fouler language than a sailor. What if I want to embrace my baby, toddler,
whatever you want to call him? Do these bad habits make life a little harder
for us, sure some days, but for the most part I feel like we have a routine, a
stride, it works for us. If I could go back in time to the two lovebirds 14
months ago, yes I would tell them when Karson has his first cold, don't bring
him in bed and make him soothe himself to sleep, don't rely on the bottle. Then
again, would I? I wouldn't have the same memories or feelings or possibly even
bond that I have with Karson now. I have taken pride in living my life with no
regrets and ya know what I'm proud of my boy. If I can look back years from now
and say his worst habits were sleeping with Mom and Dad and drinking too much
milk than I think I have been successful in parenting.
So new Mom's &
Dad's, Parents to be, Future love birds...don't fret it, you'll work it out.
Parenting is a journey, not a destination. There will always be a new
challenge, that’s what makes it fun, right?
Little Devilish Grin
