What a morning. I hate when you go to eat something you had on
your mind and your lovely partner has already had their fill of it. It wasn't
really that I wanted the Special K, but more like it was the only thing left to
eat in the house.We are in desperate need of doing some grocery shopping, but
must wait until this afternoon because Daddy has the money. Mommy might have
overspent this week with a much needed pedicure and manicure. Meanwhile, Karson
is enjoying a special treat, Lucky Charms, boy is he my kid, he picked out the
marshmallows and left the cereal to rot. I feel as though we made up
for our unhealthy decisions by accompanying our breakfast with clementines.
Sometimes being a parent is all about being resourceful. It’s almost like Survivor;
we all gotta do what we gotta to survive.
Our home is dismal
on food because we just got back from a weekend away. Instead of doing a
traditional Easter we decided to hit the open road with Grammy and C-pops in
the RV. It’s just what I needed to end my wonderful week off of work. The
weather was wonderful Saturday and Karson got a lot of outside time. He has
become obsessed with playing outside, don't you dare go out the door without
taking him with you. Nuclear meltdown. Sunday was rainy so we stayed inside and
watched movies. What a camping trip right? The original plan was to come home
with Kurt on Sunday night and leave Karson with my Mom because we had to get to
school and work Monday morning. Unfortunately, I had a bit of crazy momma hit
and my anxiety about leaving him went through the roof. I never know when she
is going to strike, but when she does oh lord. C-pops decided it was time for
all of us to leave, the weather was nasty and we all had to get back to
reality. I also think he knew how much I wanted my booger home with me. I don't
know why I had anxiety; it’s not something I can describe. I know he is safe, I
know they take incredible care of him. I just couldn't say goodbye and when I
need my booger with me, I just need him. I would also like to partially blame
my pregnancy hormones. It’s funny to think sometimes all I want is an hour to
myself, and then when I get that hour I either spent it talking or thinking
about Karson. Even my time spent at the nail salon is mostly conversation about
him. I try really hard to not lose sight of who I am, ya know just me, minus
family life, but the truth is this is me now. I am mom, I'll always be. This
little boy has changed me and I would never want to go back to the way it was.
Mother is in my definition now and it is the most important, hands down, and
the hardest, but always most rewarding.
Karson wanted me
to tell everyone who hasn't heard: We are having a girl! We found out about two
weeks ago at our 20 week sonogram. I had a little inkling and so did Kurt. The
idea of a girl was tough at first, so many questions/opinions....then the idea
grew on me. I heard horror stories about attitude and drama, tears and
boyfriends. Ugh. I thought about when I was a child, I gave my mother nearly
100 heart attacks. She lovingly refers to me as her "wild child".
Okay, so every child different, so is every parent. Thanks everyone for
negative views on having a daughter (they have been scary as hell), but what
about the good stuff? What about having your daughter as your best friend, being
there when she becomes a wife and a Mom, watching her journey of becoming a
woman? I never fully understood my Mom, I might never. We are a lot alike, but
we differ enough. I do know now what being a Mother really means. I've watched
her do it for years, maybe not flawlessly and certainly not effortlessly, but I
respect her for the job she has done (which her children reflect is an amazing
job, might I say) and the sacrifices she has made. I am so proud to be the
daughter of the strongest women I know. I hope one day my daughter will be
write the same thing. That's the true meaning of having a daughter. The road
may be challenging, but the journey is worth it! So enough with you naysayers,
we are thrilled to be having a baby girl. And enough about the perfect family,
I want a third and you are not helping in convincing the husband.
Karson is leaning
in to give kisses now, he follows simple directions and answers yes or no. Where has
my baby gone?
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