Oh the Places You'll Go.

I can't even begin to describe the whirlwind that took over my life during the beginning of 2017. Here I am half way through the year and just sitting down to capture and meditate about some of the best moments of my life. After beginning the last semester of nursing school I quickly found out that I would be hired on the unit I worked on as a student nurse for the last year and a half. Knowing that a job was waiting for me was a huge sigh of relief at that point. Final semester was a blur, between 3-4 shifts at the hospital, sitting down every night at the dining room table working on my practicum paper, coaching spring soccer, prepping for dance recital, planning and coordinating the final touches to our Disney cruise vacation. You get the drift, life was busy. Before I knew it, May 19th was here and gone. Leaving the parking garage on the last day of class threw me for a loop and sent me spiraling into a ball of emotions. I could not believe this chapter of my life that I had been working towards since Spring 2011 was over. I could not believe that we survived. I left the garage fighting back the tears as I realized that was the last time I would walk to the parking garage with my two best friends. I honestly felt no sense of relief with the impending doom that was the NCLEX. Regardless, I was able to put the test to the back burner and enjoy our most needed and deserved family vacation.

Once you Disney cruise, nothing else compares, if that's what you've heard, they are right! Kurt and myself were the cruise virgins of our group. I really had no expectations going in and somehow Disney still surpassed them. The food was delectable, the service was impeccable, the weather was perfect! The kids literally had the time of their lives, enjoying every single moment they could with their beloved cousins. We were able to snorkel in Cozumel, dolphin encounter in Grand Cayman, sight see in Jamaica and chill (& get terribly burnt) in the Bahamas. My mother gave this trip to us as our "inheritance." She wanted us to spend the money making memories with her instead of after she is gone. She 's a trip, but her timing was perfect. We all needed this vacation in our lives for various reasons. 

After Disney it was on to studyyy and boy did I ever. I really felt as though I didn't quite have the content that I needed to pass the NCLEX, so I dove head first into the 600 page book. Started endless questions and remediation and before I knew it that big day was here. The night before I was nervously clam about the exam. I could have lived without Karson dropping my phone in the toilet or sink or whatever the heck he did. I was seeing red and did not need the added stress of not having my phone to call the troops for reinforcements after the exam,when my brain felt like mush and I needed to be talked off the ledge. Somehow Kurt, of all people, was able to resurrect my phone.

I arrived ridiculously early for fear of traffic, getting lost or an unexpected blunder I would encounter. I also should note that I was suffering from a terrible case of bubble guts that left me in fear of literally pooping my pants. I finally went into the testing center and quickly realized there was a long arduous process and I would not be taking the exam any time soon. After being patted down, striped of my jewelry and glasses inspection I was ready to sit. 

Throughout the prepping session, after receiving feedback from classmates I thought it would be wise for me to develop and chant a mantra that would calm my nerves and re-focus me. I said these positive affirmations at night and in the morning before taking my practice exams. I must have said them about a thousand times to Mom and Kurt. The morning of the exam Kurt left me a note with our mantra and a picture of a bear eating the NCLEX for breakfast. I feel as though he suffered through all of this right along with me. Poor guy. 

Back to the test, I sat, said my mantra and kept in mind this was going to be a long six hours. I promised my mother that I would take a bathroom break at 75 questions regardless,in an effort to come up for air and shake off any uncertainties. I made it to question 60 and I felt myself getting anxious to stand and walk around. I said my mantra, refocused and before I knew it question 75 was on the computer. I honestly never thought in a million years that there would be no question 76, so when a screen came up explaining survey questions, I completely blacked out. I raised my hand for the proctor, explained my confusion and attempted the extremely challenging survey questions, when my brain began to chant. "Did you really just fail the NCLEX in 75 questions?" I shortly left, without finishing the survey because my mind was hazy and I was down right confused. 

Quickly after returning to my car, I started my call list. People were shocked I was out in two hours and only had 75 questions. Well so was I. I had no clue how I did. I felt like there were a few I knew for sure and the majority was select all that apply. I came home and of course Mom wanted me to try to the Pearson trick right away (basically attempt to sign up for the exam again) and I just needed time to gather myself. Eventually, when she wasn't paying attention, I got up the nerve and did it. The "good pop up" came on the computer and my stomach flipped. In that instant I could not get to excited until it was official. 

The next day was absolutely agonizing. I did not leave the house and by 3,Kurt came home from work,I was blankly staring out into space. My license number was not online and in that moment I realized this might not really be happening for me. I took a time out and watched a Monster High movie with Koop. By 3:45 I was a nurse! I have never seen Kurt so ecstatic about anything in my whole life. We did it! 

And today I turned 30. I have done so many things on this planet in my 30 years and I am so excited to begin the next journey. I've already created my list for the next 30 and let me tell you, I only get better with age.