You Know You're a Momma When...

I receive e-mails daily from babycenter.com, most of them I delete without even opening-some of them are just absolutely ridiculous. Today, I opened one and at the bottom was a short excerpt about "knowing you're a mother when"..... I attempted to find the article to quote it. After about a thirty minute search (you can tell I am at work on night shift-when would I ever have that kind of time at home?!?) I was unsuccessful. After trying to remember what the article wrote, I decided screw it I'll write my own list.

First let me start by saying this, prior to being a mother I wondered if and how I would ever be able to do it? I was never one of those natural born mother's (you know the type- the little girl who carries around a baby doll dreaming of someday being called "Mommy"). I was never the woman who gushed at other people's children. To be honest I still don't. The closest children to me were my niece and nephew- I loved being around them, but I still had no clue and no responsibility (I was only 19). To be honest up until I delivered my sweet boy I wondered if I had the mother gene? What would I do if I did not have an immediate connection to my baby? How would I know to take care of him-feed him, clothe him, protect him? There was a lot of wondering and praying that everything would fall into place. I read about women who did not connect with their children until much later in life. I was horrified, would that be me?

When Karson was born I felt like I was robbed of crucial bonding time due to our l & d circumstances. I never actually saw him come out of me (I know your probably thinking so what he is still yours)-this is true, but it's different. I didn't see him for hours after. Sure, I was as high as a kite, but I will never forget laying in the recovery room fighting the drugs and doing everything in my power to stay awake for updates about him. The nurse brought him to me, in my drug induced state, I saw my baby. He was wrapped up like a little sausage, so perfect. I cried and kissed his forehead, in that moment I was a Momma-not a mother, there is a difference.

In retrospective I explain that moment like a light switch, one minute I was me "just plain ol' me", the next I was Karson's Momma. Since that moment the bulb has burned brighter every day; I am completely head over heels for this little boy. All of those worries were for nothing. I feel like a Momma, I love being a Momma & not to toot my own horn, but I am damn good at it too!

With that said, here is my simple list: (just in case you didn't have the light switch moment)

You know you're a Momma when:

- showering  takes place whenever you can slip in a minute (some days this might not be at all).

- you have some kind of bodily fluid on you at some point of the day.

- eating is something that is done only for survival.

- you can't even imagine future plans for yourself.

- sleep, what's that?

- one little smile melts your heart and makes your day.

- you would do anything I mean anything to take away their pain.

- going to the bathroom requires acrobatics (especially if your baby weighs 18 lbs like mine).

- reading little golden books is your favorite time of the day.

- waking up at 5 am is wonderful (even if he is crying-he is alive!)

- at the end of the day you can't wait to share with your sig. other the events of the day ( he pooped twice).

- shopping trips consist of the latest baby accessories.

- you finally get you time and half of it is spent calling home for updates, talking about your little one or at least thinking about him.

- you check his breathing when he is in his car seat or crib or well whenever you feel necessary.

- life is simply not worth living without your little buddy.

My most recent "Momma moment" was this past Sunday when Karson was baptized. After the priest baptized her ( I mean him!) even the priest had me confused. Side note *(For those not at this festivity, the priest insisted upon calling Karson a her, even though we had him dressed in a suit. Ahh old Catholic priests, at least he noticed half way through when he finally looked at the baby!) Anyway, the priest had a special blessing for Karson's mother, that's me! I had to fight back the tears, God has blessed me, I am the Momma to this precious little monster. The good, the bad & the just plain ugly! I am ready to rumble. I am Momma, hear me roar!