Family Forever.

I can't believe it has already been a month since I last wrote. Now that Karson is on the move- the time is really flying by and so is he, flash baby. Within the last month we celebrated Karson's first Halloween, which was a success minus having his first cold and losing a sock on his golf cart ride (no worries it later emerged in the driveway). We all survived our first Hurricane together. We only lost power for 45 minutes, just long enough to take a good nap. Daddy has been working some overtime and I have been busy with trying to pass my classes this semester. Karson has been the busiest, learning how to crawl overnight, pulling himself up on everything, eating his first solids and just being a big ol' ham. At his 9 month checkup he was weighing in at 21 lbs and 29 inches, no wonder my hip is killing me. What a joy this little boy has become, he has a smile on his face just about all the time. Now that he is mobile all sorts of new worries have entered the game.

About a week ago we were cleaning up dinner and Karson and I had escaped to the bedroom for some post dinner cartoons and folding clothes. I stepped out of the bedroom for two seconds and I hear a crash. I screamed, Kurt came running and there was Karson lying on his back on the floor next to my four story storage container where I keep my hair and makeup essentials. Granted the majority of it was plastic, it still scared the crap out of me. The rest of the night I felt guilty for being negligent and underestimating his ability to get into things. After the guilt wore off,  it was time to prepare. We went to Ikea, bought a new storage container and screwed that booger to the wall. Today, we will be securing the rest of the dangers in this house. You just never know what kids will get into to. He usually gets into anything you don't want him to, like the nightlights in the outlets, the carbon monoxide detector, any drawer within reach, the glass behind the bar. He'll find anything on the ground, dimes, earring backs I've lost. In that regards he can be very helpful! I say, "Karson, no-no!" about 50 times a day and I know it is only going to get worse as he grows. We can't get lazy though, we know it will only make for a poorly behaved child in the future (I'll be damned he acts like a fool).

Yesterday, Karson decided to test my reflexes. I had him on the changing table and I was about five steps from him grabbing his shirt out of the closest. In about two seconds he had rolled over and was falling in mid-air, I literally slid on the carpet and caught him. He thought it was absolutely hysterical and my heart was racing in my throat. This child is fearless, he loves crawling to the edge of the bed, acting like Houdini and escaping the shopping carts and highchairs. I really don't know when I am going to grasp the concept that this child is on the move and fast. He will be my boo-boo child, seeing how everyday he earns a new scratch or cut. Most we can't even account for the incident. He keeps us all on our toes!

We celebrated Karson's First Thanksgiving at my mother's house. We had the entire family over, about 25 people. We have not had a turkey day like that is about 13 years, pretty much since my grandmother had passed away. She was Thanksgiving! I was a little melancholy about the holiday this year, but I knew we had to make new memories for spud and the other little ones. Kurt worked his tail off and cooked two turkeys, one deep fried and one oven baked. They were delicious! Everyone pitched in on the other yummy's and it was fantastic. We didn't have any leftovers, which could be a good thing. Karson tried mashed and sweet potatoes, they were a hit. We played card games, and reminisced about the old days, especially my Aunt's alien encounter (yes, you read that right, and its true!) The day was memorable and hopefully Karson will to have fond family memories that last him a lifetime. We want him to grow knowing that family is forever!

We started decorating for Christmas yesterday, the warm weather outside was totally throwing me off. We put up the tree today and realized every year Kurt and I debate about how the thing should be put together. Its only three pieces, you would think after three years we would get the hang of it. At this point its tradition. Karson decided to help by taking the tree stand hostage. He is a strong little spud. I had the camera handy, and snapped a few "in the Christmas tree box" shots. I've never been much on Christmas since being an adult, but this year I am giddy with excitement. Even though he has no clue what it all means yet, I want him to have those photos to look back on like I do. I just hope that he appreciates all the stress and craziness we have to go through to make the holidays memorable. I must admit even Daddy, who tends to be a little bit of a grinch is enthusiastic and ready to put up a good fight over the "Santa cookies". I'm so very thankful that my holiday off at work this year is Christmas. I do not look forward to the one's where I will have to spend away from my family. Such is life. I have some shopping to do! I think spud & I will venture out sometime this week and pick up some things for Dad. Then Kurt and I have spud shopping to do, nothing over board because I am sure he will be spoiled rotten like always.

What a wonderful start to the holiday! We will be sending our Christmas cards out soon, featuring the one and only spud who decided to act like a baby model at his Sears photo session. The pictures turned out so good that we were suckered into buying the entire CD. Not in the budget, but a exception had to be made. Good luck gearing up for your family Christmas!

Scaredy Cat

I thought the title was appropriate for this time year, which also happens to my absolute favorite holiday! October has been filled with fun stuff every weekend; we have been running in circles. Karson loves it! He is a busier boy these days and most of the time he much rather be out running around on the town than be stuck at home. Last weekend we started our holiday off with a big bang. Mom, C-Pops, Kurt, myself and Karson traveled to P.A. for our first RV trip. Thank You Grammy & C-Pops. Karson loved every minute of it. He enjoyed the people watching, he rode a hayride, handed out candy to trick or treaters. He wasn't scared of any of the costumes! I knew he wouldn't be, he enjoyed the life size creepies in the Halloween Spirit store. I decided to give in and spend a fortune on a group Halloween costume for my Mom, Kurt, Karson & I. I won't spill the surprise just yet, but I will be sure to post a photo. We have two parties to attend this weekend, the first my little cousin Ryan is turning 18 and then Kurt & I have an adult party for a wonderful friend. We just have to get through Friday, which is the worst (Chemistry lab and then I dedicate the rest of the day for doing the insane amount of work that we receive). 

Next weekend is Kurt & I's second wedding anniversary. We are traveling to Cumberland for a murder mystery dinner and train ride. Grammy will have Karson yet again. We are very excited to have some Mommy & Daddy time, we try to have it at least once a month, sometimes everyday life gets in the way, but its important to remember that without Kurt and the love I have for him, there would be no Karson. I adore both of my boys. I can't believe how fast the last two years have gone, we have been very busy! There is never a dull moment with Kurt and I love it. I am so proud to call him my husband, and so very blessed to have him in my life and to have him be the father of my child. I could not have picked a better man for the job. God broke the mold when he created Kurt. I only hope that Karson will be just as good as a man, he does have an excellent role model. I love this crazy ride we're on, I have the best line buddy ever and every so often we are that sappy pda couple. You know the type.

I found another interesting article on babycenter, (I'm telling you I maybe go on the website twice a month and every time I find information that either intrigues me or pisses me off). The article was titled, "Forty-two things that change when you have a baby." It should have been titled, "Everything changes when you have a baby!" That's the truth! Either way number two was the one that struck a nerve, "Where you once believed you were fearless, you now find yourself afraid."  Preach on! Throughout this whole journey I have been pretty relaxed, I would be the laid back counterpart of our production. Even when I was being wheeled to the OR for my emergency c-section I had this eerily calm presence. I knew deep down in my gut that everything would be okay. I have angels and I felt their presence that day for sure. When we brought Karson home, we were clueless, but I was never afraid. I didn't have to keep vigil by his crib every night. I knew he wasn't going to stop breathing. When he was teething and crying so hard he would turn purple, I knew we were going to survive this too. I must say I have been remarkably brave. I can't take the credit, because I know a couple people above are working their magic.  Sure, with every passing day I can feel myself getting older, I'm banking on the fact I will be gray by the time I am 30. The true reason why I don't give into my fear is because if I did, I would put Karson in a bubble and lock the doors forever. I have never truly experienced true gut-wrenching heart throbbing fear until I became a parent. I watch stories on T.V. about kids going missing and I feel like I could barf. I grab Karson and squeeze him. I hear about a family whose child died when I am at work, and it takes everything in my power to not grab my keys and fly home to Karson. I see sick children on commercials and I feel my stomach flip. All of these are my greatest fears, sure I might not openly say, "I'm scared, but I am literally shaking in my shoes." I know I can't live my life in fear, that statement reassures me and is the only thing sometimes that keeps me sane. 

My counterpart Kurt has been more open about the fear and anxiety that being a parent has brought on. The other night while I was at work Kurt was watching in the monitor and noticed Karson had rolled over onto his belly (his new favorite sleeping position) except he had his face down on the mattress. At first Kurt just went in to make sure he could breathe. When he reached in and it was not obvious Kurt flipped and grabbed Karson up out of bed and began to attempt to arouse him. Karson slowly looked up at his father and I am sure gave him a dirty look for waking him up. I received a frantic call that had me doing everything I could think of to calm Kurt down. I thought we had Kurt's panic licked. Unfortunately, Monday night while we were all laying around watching The Voice, Karson started making weird breathing sounds when he was falling asleep in my arms. I panicked and before I could do anything, Kurt had grabbed Karson and began to pound on his back. Karson woke up and was smiling. (The little turd smiles when he coughs, he loves seeing us flip out). I was trying to monitor his breathing, but my heart was pounding so hard, my hands were shaking. I knew that he was breathing and this incident did not warrant 911, I called my Mom and told her to come over asap. C-Pops and her were here in a minute. They undressed him and played with him. My Mom listened to his heart and lungs with our first aid stethoscope. His Grammy prognosis was great. We chalked the sounds up to him having some milk left in his throat after falling asleep. The next morning I called the doctor to be sure, he has been pulling at his right ear lately too, so I thought I would kill two birds with one stone. Just as I expected Karson was perfect, the doctor even said so. A lot of wax for a little one, but no other concerns. I told the doctor about the incident with Kurt and she said I had brought the wrong boy in to see the doctor, like we had suspected Kurt has some serious anxiety issues. We are trying to tackle them without medications, but no matter what it needs to be controlled. I thought my fear was bad, Kurt's fear NEVER takes a break. I couldn't imagine that. I would be nutty. Our challenge is to overcome our daily anxieties to enjoy life. Like anything thrown our way, we are going to overcome it. We are Mundell’s after all!

I will leave you all with this little token, don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game. Life is scary, being a parent is terrifying, but it is worth every minute of it. C'mon look at that smile!

The Drooling Kickstand Kid

My muse has been especially active lately. It is like a switch has gone off and he knows it’s time to get moving. Throughout the last 8 months people have told me to embrace the "baby stage" once they are mobile there is no stopping them. We aren't there quite yet, but almost. He is pretty much doing EVERYTHING but crawling. I got an e-mail today from babycenter and decided to open it up for a change (I'm glad I did) I got a little chuckle out of it. So for those of you who try endlessly to explain the magic of how your baby gets from one spot to another without actually crawling here's the list:

Lifestyles of the Almost Crawling

• Commando: Baby slides silently on stomach, pushing off with only her tippy toes.
• Kickstand: Baby gets up on hands and one knee, but second leg sticks out to the side and appears to be cemented into the floor.
• Drag racing: Baby achieves successful forward motion, but drags one foot behind her like it's a weight tied to her body with a leg.
• A little backward: Baby sees a desired object, only to experience frustration when crawling moves her farther away from it.
• The crab: Baby moves sideways in a "scuttling" motion.
• Roll over Beethoven: Not so much crawling as a kind of blowing-tumbleweed movement from one spot to another. But hey – whatever works. 

For the past 5 months Karson has been wearing a bib, correction two bibs. At first we thought "Oh boy he is getting his first tooth!" (We are such rookies and fools). We are still waiting on that damn tooth! Now it’s just irritating (what's the purpose of dressing him up if you can never see his clothes?) Forget about the cute onesies with the adorable sayings or emblems. And what about the band t-shirts!?!? That's Dad's serious concern. We first started with the cute little bibs that come with special outfits, and then we moved onto a simple terry cloth, we threw on an extra one for good measure. We thought we were almost in the clear. We have anxiously waited for the day our little monster would get some teeth! He now goes through about 15 bibs a day. Not to mention all the outfit changes due to the drool that somehow still ends up on his shirt. I'm not even going to get into the drool on the floor, our bed, his toys and us. If you walk in my house you will end up being drooled on! You think a St. Bernard is bad; a dog has nothing on my kid! I've even considered the tablets you can pop in their mouths to contain some of the drool. People wonder why I don't get dressed up; seriously do I have to explain? What's the best part of teething you ask? Why of course, the fact that my child tries to eat me. We have been known to lovingly refer to Karson as "Zombie Baby". I like to think his zombie impression is his way of trying to kiss me (don't judge). He is like a puppy, anything that can go into his mouth will, especially our TV remotes. When we are playing in bed and he sees one it’s like he is possessed, nothing matters except getting the remote. (We all know how dangerous remotes can be and if I have to hear my mother lecture me about batteries one more time.) Point is I don't care how many teethers you buy or which kind of gourmet cookies. Your baby is going to put everything in their mouth you don't want them to. Today, while making spud laugh I noticed a little blood on his gum and there it was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. The top of a tooth! Now we've been seeing white lines for months, been dealing with the drooling, teething and the tantrums caused by the pain so....I am not getting to excited just yet, but that little booger gave me some hope that a tooth will be making an appearance here soon. On the flip side this whole process is so bitter sweet. I love watching him smile and seeing his "old man gums". He will be able to start eating "big boy food". Noooo! My baby. It just about broke my heart when he stopped nursing and now this. Don't let my excessive antics fool you, I love this stage. Heck I just love this kid! He is so entertaining at this stage to watch, you can just see him learning things by the minute. He is taking in everything and getting into everything.

It has been a full week since Kurt started his day job. Hooray, it was reality. You know it use to seem like the evenings would linger forever. Now it seems like the days are pretty lengthy too. I'm sure this is due to the fact we start our day at 6:30am. Whew, I will never be a morning person, even if I get to wake up to the most adorable smile. I peel myself from bed, do a diaper change in the darkness, shuffle to the kitchen to turn on the 98 Rock morning show (Thank You Daddy) and search for the coffee. I am just so thankful that Karson is on point and ready to play, which means he isn't to needy. Having Kurt change shifts just really made me realize how much I loved how he would wake up with Karson. Regardless of my anti-morning stance I am so thrilled to have Kurt home at 3:30 every day. I don't think we have spent this much time together since the beginning, when we had just started dating. It is very refreshing to know I still enjoy him and his craziness, plus we have this wonderful boy who keeps us on our toes. We have dinner as a family, go for walks on nice days, run errands, and clean the house, just having an extra set of hands to get the littlest things done helps tremendously. We are a team, a great one at that. Spud misses Grammy sometimes, but he gets to see her on days when I have to sleep after work. We are in a great place, a happy place! 

We had a little bump in the road last week when I started having severe stomach pains. I let them go and eventually my mother convinced me to go to the doctor. His diagnosis, couldn't tell me a damn thing. We were off to get a sonogram, results were normal. I made my mother happy and decided I was done, no more doctors. Then just when I think the worst is over I had the most debilitating headache hit me in the middle of my favorite Chinese food. I literally thought I was going to die. My eyes crossed, I lost vision and forming a sentence was almost impossible. Kurt wanted to rush me to the ER immediately, I begged him not to. Instead we went to my Mom's who was watching Karson for us. After about 30 minutes of pain, a few nice so nice words with my mother and husband and it was over. I won no hospital. I thought to myself this stuff cannot be normal. I am only 25, why do I feel like crap all the time, why do I require more sleep than my child. If my stomach doesn't hurt then my head does. Next morning we were off to get a abdominal CAT scan, once again results are normal. I'm done, but I made a promise to my mother that if the pains came back I would get a physical and take care of myself. NO, I am not pregnant. I know someone was thinking it! Worst part, the husband said no more baby making until I start feeling better. Good thing I feel great (right now that is). It’s all a mystery. I'm sure the stress from my classes doesn't help matters. I am pulling my hair strand by strand. I have already started the countdown to the end of the semester. 

                                                               Raven's Nation

                                                           Excited for Halloween!

Come On December!

Usually I am not one who wants to rush through life (especially now that we have Karson), but like my title says "Come On December!"  I can't believe our little monster turned seven months old this month. Talk about a reality check! I am counting down the days for one reason only, this college semester will be over with!!! Like I had imagined, this semester has been my most challenging EVER. Not only because of the added responsibility, but for the fact I can not do chemistry (it is seriously like reading Chinese). You would think I was embellishing, but sadly I AM NOT! Ask my baby cousin Ryan, he will tell ya (he has the unfortunate job of being my lab partner). The faster my epic struggle goes, the less I can stress about it. I do not take to failing or quitting easily (I have never had a C in college & only three B's-what would you know all in science and math, I am sensing a pattern). Since I have started this class, every day I wake up disappointed in myself. Therefore, I can not fully enjoy anything, which is so unfair to myself and the people around me. I don't have the time to dedicate to excelling in this class, I would need a lot of special attention from a private tutor. Its so frustrating to want to learn this material and not being able to. I am having a hard time dealing with this, because frankly it has never happened to me. All I keep telling myself is that I will get through this, all I need is a C. All I need is a 3.0 GPA in my six sciences to apply to nursing school. As I am writing this, I have already given into my relentless nature to be the best. Why am I so hard on myself when it comes to school?!? Why can't I just enjoy everyday life and separate college from it?

Now that I have said my peace about school, come on next week! Kurt starts his new job Thursday and my excitement can not be contained! We will have our family together every evening. I will be able to eat dinner with my husband. Kurt will be home to play, bathe and put Karson to bed. We can have Mommy/Daddy time. I don't believe this is happening. It seems surreal. This is such a huge change to our lives and I am sure it will take some time to adjust, but this is what we have wanted since Kurt & I started our shift work jobs almost three years ago. After Karson was in the picture, Kurt was absolutely miserable. He wanted nothing more than to be home with us. It didn't help his job was about 80 miles round trip. I couldn't imagine having to drive that much to go to and from work, of course I hate driving. Having Kurt on day shift less than five miles from our house takes so much stress away from our family. Now we can get serious about adding more monsters to our clan! Managing our time will be so much easier. Maybe I will also have some time to craft & work on homework actually at home and not just at work.

While we are onto that topic, our weekend getaway was awesome! We started off on our adventure Friday afternoon, after a long and uncomfortable four hour ride we arrived to Deep Creek! Our friends had been there some time and started the party off on the dock. Kurt & I dug out the cooler for our first worry free beers in seventeen months. (This is the complete truth for me!) Even though I was worrying just a little, I did just leave my baby. We enjoyed our first night there, hot tub time was the best. I made a promise to myself to do everything that I will have to take a leave of absence from once I (hopefully) get pregnant again. This meant a lot of hot tub, beer & sleep! Saturday morning I woke up with a slight headache, I can't remember the last time I had ten beers (I know, I am so crazy, haha!) It didn't help I woke up at 6am, that would be my internal Momma alarm clock. Unfortunately, it rained all day, which cancelled our boat trip. We played a lot of games and took a trip to the movies. Ahhh the movies, how much I miss them. When people ask me if I miss going out, I honestly answer no! I totally miss going to the movies though!!! Saturday night Kurt was starting to get a little nervous, he was ready to get back to Karson. Sunday as we left, we were counting down to get back to him. He survived, we survived, we knew it would be okay. He had Grammy & C-Pops, I was able to call anytime I felt some anxiety, but for the most part we just enjoyed our special grown up time. The hardest part was the initial leaving, but Kurt had a strategy, he asked me about school (since you read the comments above, you could gather how easily that occupied my mind). Overall, we had a wonderful time together and with our friends (its so cool to watch all of our friends at different stages of life).

Call Me Maybe?

Saturday is Karson's first pageant, we are super excited and looking forward to it. Stay tuned for the outcome and pictures! We might have a local celebrity on our hands.

Another Back to School.

When I graduated college two years ago, I thought or at least hoped that my back to school days were over.  Sigh how time changes things. I started my online classes this week, what a depressing feeling. Its been extra hard to get motivated due to having spud around. I could kick myself in the ass for dropping my classes last fall semester. Oh well, got to get on with things. I can already tell this Chemistry class is going to cause several mental breakdowns. I already had my first one, which left me talking to myself at work. My co-workers know better than to even ask. I know that there is NO option but to get through this semester. Then I can reward myself with another baby! Hah, we're crazy we know. I know years from now when I am finally in nursing school, I will be happy with the sacrifices and stress these classes are causing me. Eventually the kids will be in school and stay at home Mommy (or part time) won't be an option anymore. On the other hand they are only babies once and I am making sure he comes first! The anal retentive student has to take a back seat to the fun loving Mommy. I can see my straight A's flying out the window! Complaint department  is closed. I was really enjoying everyone's facebook pictures of their kids going back to school. Kurt informed me in three years Karson will be attending pre-school. Really? Jumping ahead, aren't we Dad. I know the day will be here before we know it.

The first day of school is supposed to be a thrilling day, not one filled with sadness and horror. I can't imagine having a child in school and having to worry about their safety. Having a kid really changes you. The old me would stay grounded and unemotional about the school shooting that happened the first day of school in Perry Hall. I know that sounds cruel, but its really a coping mechanism. You have to have one when you work in a field surrounded by death and all the depressing realities that go along with life. Fortunately, I was unaware that anything had happened for the majority of the day. My television consists of Nick Jr and the Bubble Guppies. Thank Goodness for facebook its my only link to news and the outside world around me. After hearing about the shooting all I could think about was the way those parents were feeling. Could you imagine hearing about a shooting that occurred at your child's school? I don't know about you, but as I am writing this I feel like I could puke. My blood boils with adrenaline. I also have sympathy for the shooter's parents, how on Earth would you feel knowing your child is filled with so much hatred? I look at Karson and I see all the opportunities he has (and I know we joke about him being a rockstar or a doctor) but honestly my only hope is that he is a good person, a happy person. I know its our responsibility as parents to provide him with basic needs, but I truly believe in order to foster a successful human being so much more is needed. It most definitely is the little things, listening to your child, being in tune with them, making sure you are involved in their lives. I am saying prayers for the parents of the shooter and the victim. (I just know Mr. Wasmer's Momma is one proud lady to have raised a hero!) In times like these it is easy to cast judgement and pointing fingers; how about we get to the bottom of the issue to ensure a tragedy like this never happens this close to home again. (These are my opinions and in no way meant to be offensive).

Let's wrap this up on a happy note. We found out some exciting news today in the Mundell house. I won't say anything just yet (I don't want to JINX IT). It looks like we might actually be getting something we have wanted for two years!


Oh yeah...I entered Karson into a beauty pageant (let the ridicule commence). No its not like Toddlers & Tiaras, its a natural pageant and I think he is going to charm 'em. He will be competing for the title of Mr. Glen Burnie 2012. What an honor! We have a lot of shopping to do!

His Mr. Glen Burnie Wave!

Next weekend is our first getaway without Karson. I am a bundle of emotions right now. It stills seems so far  away so I am not thinking too much about it. I have several school assignments to due before I can even think about letting loose.

A Time & A Place.

Have you ever heard the expression there is a time and a place for everything? What happens when you run out of time?

This is exactly what happens to us on a daily basis. My husband and I live by to-do lists, we have a master one and two separate ones, we have both said before that crossing off an item on our to-do lists is one of the most rewarding feelings (we don't get out much). Sometimes there is just not enough time in the day to get it all done, which for the most part does not bother me, there is always tomorrow (I take a little more of a laid-back approach). Lately though, because of issues with time management I have had a really hard time writing. My blog is most definitely suffering and I feel like I am going through a dry spell. Usually words just flow out of me, word vomit some would say. I feel like an artist who has lost her muse, which I most definitely haven't (he is sitting beside me in his highchair playing with his cell phone). I think this is happening to me because I have so much on my mind, its hard to prioritize. Awhile back Kurt & I were discussing the root of his stress, after much debate, he frankly spit out "I think we have a time management issue". I wanted to scream who doesn't, especially people with babies!!! If you have read my previous blogs than you know going to the bathroom alone is a luxury. When you are trying to give 100% in every aspect of your life, time becomes your enemy. How can I be the best Mom, Wife, Investigator, Student and Business Owner if I don't even have the time to pee alone?! Good question I raise, does anyone have an answer? If you find out please let the rest of us know.

Back to school is among us, unfortunately this means for me too. I have been struggling for the last almost two years trying to figure out what path is right for me? There's no turning back now, I've got the wife and mother thing down. Its my career path that is dangling in the balance. After I realized my current B.S. degree (yes its Bachelor's, but I like to say bullshit) had no advancements for the future I went back to the drawing board. I toyed around with the idea of med school, that was a bust, I wanted to have a family sooner than later, plus I am not a millionaire. Then there was an event planner, I soon realized that the rich and snotty doesn't work well with this Dena girl. And finally the one that I have landed on.... a nurse. I love medicine, shift work, making people feel awesome physically and emotionally and well poop doesn't bother me obviously. So it was set, I talked to the hubs and enrolled in community college to get the last six classes I need to apply, that was in the Fall of 2010. Fast forward to Fall 2012 and I am struggling to get class three and four out of the way and now with a baby on board. Trouble is where do I find the time? I know in order to have a career after all the babes are grown and in school I have to buckle down and finish this path I started. Easier said than done, every time I am around Karson all I want to do is be with him. I want to be a stay at home mom, but I also want to have a career in the future. How do I plan to succeed in this endeavor?  Time management, haha!

In order to start this semester off right. I figure I would make myself a master to-do list. A reference for when I am floundering around like a crazy person. Here it goes:

- Live by the calendar. Makes dates, appointments and time outs in order to survive.
- Take time to enjoy. Breathe!
- Don't forget about the supportive people in your life who make all of this possible.
- Give your best, make this time sacrifice count.
- Craft. Its your best stress relief.
- Don't loose focus on your ultimate goal.
- Love yourself, your family and your life.
- Don't add stress/drama into your already hectic life.
- Be thankful for every minute.
- Make memories and document them.
- Smile.
- Wake up everyday with a fresh start.
- Try to enforce me time- even if its just peeing alone.
- Sleep and nap when time permits.
- Embrace your accomplishments. Be proud.
& finally manage your time!

Tomorrow is Karson's 6 month appointment! Who knows, I might be blogging again.

Let them eat peas!

Stay tuned for mid-September, we have something really fun brewing!

A Mother's Simple Pleasure.

I hate to admit it, but I have been majorly slacking in the writing department. I don't want to make excuses, but this little boy is very particular about what I do and when I do it. He exhausts me and he is not even mobile yet. I just peeked over at him and he gave me this devilish sly look, "Go ahead Mom, try to write your blog, I dare you." What a kid!

We have had a lot of change (or talk of change) in the Mundell household lately. With Kurt working evenings and my working nights we really feel the pressure. We both want to be able to share family time with Karson. When we are being pessimistic, we compare our situation to that of a single parent. I have the days with him, Kurt has the mornings, we alter between nights and my Mom & Stepdad have him a lot! Very rarely are we all together. Since shift work has been our life for the past two years, we don't know any better. We sit and dream of a time (hopefully in the near future) that we can have dinner as a family. Unfortunately, being a parent means making sacrifices, if this is what we have to do to pay the bills and make sure that Karson does not have to be put in daycare this is the way it will stay. We hope not! I can't even imagine adding more little angels to our brood until we get these crazy schedules under control. Because my mantra is "Whatever Will Be, Will Be"  I try my hardest to not let our challenge disrupt our current happiness, or let stress take the attention away from our blessings. Easier said than done, but we make it work, we have too. 

Random note: I am glad that I have a valid excuse to listen to Pandora Kids Radio and watch the Disney channel. It’s the simple things in life.

This past Saturday, my Dad got re-married. I said change has been the topic of conversations and actions around these parts lately. I was happy to have my husband and sweet boy with me. I don't think I could have gotten through it without them. I am not going to lie, it was hard for me. My Dad seemed happy and that's all that really matters. Like I've said before, life is too short to be unhappy. I just hope years from now, when I re-read these blogs and the kids are all grown, Kurt is the one still by my side (with a beer in hand & a smile on his face).

My brother's kids were in the wedding and Kaleb (Karson's cousin who is 7 weeks older than him) was there too. Boy, did they steal the show. People kept complimenting how well behaved and how adorable they were. As a Mom hearing that never gets old. It’s nice to hear compliments come from strangers-they are not obligated to give them. Compliments are like extra sprinkles on a sundae, you don't need them to enjoy it, but they definitely give you a little boost. Let me assure you I am not the kick as Mom I am for any other reason than for this wonderful little boy, but when the tough gets going those (compliments) are the simple things you fall back on. I now understand why my Mom always made a big deal about Mother's Day, its nice to know your cherished for all the things you do as a Mom & a wife. 

Today, Karson & I decided to tackle cleaning out his closet. We are having a yard sale this month & each day we try to organize and prepare. What a short stroll down memory lane...six months! Where has the time gone? My baby is half way to a year old. No way. When I was struggling, or having a rough day in the beginning (& even sometimes now), I kept/keep this mantra in my head (compliments of my Mom) "This to shall pass". We have had so many passing moments; I wish I could have put them in a time capsule. The last six months have simply been the best of my life and surely the most entertaining! It’s sad for me when I imagine having a second child, I won't have the same first time experiences as I did with Karson, but on the other hand I am so looking forward to the future unknowns! (Maybe we'll start talking number two around the Holidays). 

I totally know my kid; this short blog took me three hours to write!

Let me be honest to those who read my blog, these are my experiences, my struggles and joys. I know you'll want to judge, but let me tell you this, I can only wish for you the happiness that consumes my life because of this little boy & his Daddy.

What a Birthday to Remember.

Twenty-five already? Tuesday was the big quarter century Birthday. The day was filled with melancholy memories and joyous celebrations. I can honestly say it was the best Birthday ever just for the awesome company I had. This was my first Birthday as a Momma, might not seem like a big deal, but the entire feel of the day was different (in a good way). Originally we thought to leave the baby with my Mom and take off on a day adventure to Hershey Park. Sounded like a nice break, then the day vastly approached and leaving spud with Grammy was a no-go (I couldn't bear to leave the babes). We went back to the drawing board to plan a nice day, somewhere local and baby friendly. Kurt & I love museums and art and we HATE the heat. We have always wanted to visit the American Visionary Arts Museum in Baltimore. We went to Mr. Rain's Funhouse, the restaurant located in the museum last November for our Anniversary dinner-delicious food! I was way pregnant and couldn't stand the thought of being on my feet any longer than I had to so the museum was not an option. I wanted to share my Birthday between family time and then a Mommy Daddy date. I decided on Brewer's Art on North Charles Street for our grown up time. I had been there for happy hour in college, but never a real meal. The plans were set!

The day started off interesting, a water main break occurred in Baltimore the night before so we scrambled to make sure the museum would be open. Then our lunch plans down the Inner Harbor fell short and we escaped the city for a quiet Asian cuisine. Karson also decided the night before he wanted to be awake to wish me a Happy Birthday at exactly midnight. We watched my birth video and he was pumped for a family DVD marathon. After several attempts for bed, he went down and we all passed out. 5 am my birthday morning and BOOM! he was bright eyed and bushy tailed. We made it to the museum and he was awesome (just sat in his umbrella stroller like a little art critic), there was some really funky stuff there. Mom noticed that the majority of the artists had some form of mental illness, I guess that is what allowed them to think outside of the box. I wish I had the ability to let go of reality a little more when I'm crafting. Be a bit more abstract. I also wish I had the patience! Mom bought Kurt and I two day of the day tiles for our bar wall, we love em! I saw a Zoltar machine and I had to get my fortune, of course it hit home-"Now is the time to start that new project you have been contemplating. Your deliberation will pay off in the long run because doubt is the father of invention and key to knowledge." Could not agree more. Our Date night was fantastic, we re-connected and talked each other's ears off. The food was yummy and I have to say Kurt cleans up pretty well ;0) I told him I wanted another baby for my Birthday, hahaha that was before complete and utter exhaustion set in. We had a wonderful day filled with family, love, art, naps & a total food coma.

Enough of me! Karson has made leaps and bounds the last three days, just as I was beginning to wonder when all these milestones I read about were ever going to happen? When we were getting dolled up for our date, Karson was lying on his play mat completely content. I looked down to check on him and the little booger was on his belly, after he realized what had happened he completely freaked! He rolled over from back to front all by himself. We thought maybe it was a fluke, well darn it the little booger did it again!!! Best present ever. I have been working with him endlessly on rolling over, starting solids and holding his bottle. The other day I was not holding his bottle high enough and he politely took control and well since then has never looked back. I mean he gets a little lazy sometimes, but he is definitely on his way. Last night we went over to Mom's for a pizza party. I packed some apples just in case he decided to get a little crazy. Well he went crazy!!! He was eating them up. I couldn't believe it, the little boy that was projectile spitting rice cereal at us not even two days ago was scarfing these apples up! We will be attempting more apples tonight. I can't believe how fast my baby is growing. All of these monumental milestones will soon be just a sweet memory and I am not missing one of them! Camera in hand at all times. Oh lord I sound like my mother!





















Next up on the agenda: Getting Karson to take naps, especially without me. I don't mind most days because I need the naps in order to work nights, but when I don't have to work its such a waste of time. I do of course love that he wants to cuddle! I know sooner than later he will be on the move and not wanting Momma hanging on to him. Unfortunately or fortunately-depending how you look at it he is no longer into nursing anymore. I am trying to hang on for a couple more weeks. I know my body is sore and tired of it, but my mind loves the quiet time I get to share with my little boy. I know I have said it before, but I am so happy I pressed on and did not give up on breastfeeding. Than again, "quitting" was not in my vocabulary. My boy might be determined and strong willed, but guess what so are Mommy & Daddy!

The Napkin Napper & Temper Tantrum Pro.

Last night at dinner I watched a little family sit a couple tables from us. I thought to myself look at them, that baby is young and they are still living life. Good for them. So jealous. I remembered how for the first three months are Karson's life we were sequestered in the house. Just then, the baby let out a cry and continued for the next couple minutes. I saw the look on the parent's faces, I recognized the feeling, I saw the internal debate. Were they going to have to abort their meal or was this tantrum going to blow over. Like so many other parents Kurt and I have had our fair share of baby meltdowns in the most inopportune places. You know the kind of meltdowns...when people stop in their tracks to watch you do everything in your power to subdue the screaming monster in your arms. Thankfully most of these tantrums have happened when I've been out with my Mom. Unlike Kurt and myself, she has the patience of a saint. I can recall the most embarrassing, it goes back about two months now, but it is definitely one for the history books. We were out running errands, last stop was Michael's. We knew we were in for it, we were cutting it close to bedtime and this boy like's his night time routine! We decided to gamble anyway. We made it into the door when he began to scream at the top of his lungs, in an effort to get the bottle ready as fast as possible I drenched him, myself and his car seat. Breast milk splashed all over the floor. I felt so bad for the guy who had to mop up after us. Of course Mom had to tell him specifically that it was breast milk.That stuff is horribly sticky!!! At this point you could hear his scream echoing throughout the store. All eyes were on us, or at least they felt like it. I quickly snapped at my Mom and ran out the door with him. Couple minutes later and I was determined to buy what I came for. About ten  minutes later while in the baking aisle, my Mom left us to use the bathroom. As soon as she walked away the second wave hit. This time I only had one pair of hands, in addition to spilling the milk, I dropped an entire display of cupcake trays. I thought to myself the security camera is getting one hell of a show tonight. Just then, Mom came back and proceeded to tell me that she could hear Karson all the way in the back of the store, if you know Michael's, then you know how huge the store is. I was spent, he won. We purchased and got the hell out of dodge. Lesson learned. Tantrums are part of life, some worse than others. Us parents, we feel for each other. I wanted so bad to go to those parents and let them know it wasn't as bad as it seemed!

This morning at breakfast, Karson grabbed my napkin. Lately he is being known as the napkin napper. Of course, he put it non-stop directly into his mouth. Kurt freaked out and let him know this was not okay! He took the napkin from him and he started screaming. As an experiment I gave it back, he stopped crying. Holy lord it is starting already, temper tantrums for not getting what he wants! This child is going to be exhausting. Napkins are not for babies! Fourth of July we took it easy, I had to work that night and the heat beat us. We went to the Green Turtle for lunch. Kurt was holding boogie, when the napkin napper struck. I look up and before we know it Karson has half of the napkin ripped off in his mouth. Kurt swung into action and just about choked the poor kid in an effort to save his life. Turtle napkins are not made for the potent drool this kid produces. Another lesson learned. Test your napkins before letting your baby have it.

In other news I think I am going to take a swing at this whole handmade crafting business. Since the evolution of websites like Etsy and Pinterest, crafting is cool! Its about time other people got on the bandwagon. Since the beginning of my stay at home days, I have had the time to devote to some crafting projects, I've done a couple things for the house and a couple as gifts. Most recently I hand painted wooden picture frames and specialized them to fit the Father that they were going to. In one night shift at work I did seven frames. Pretty good. I need to fine tune my details and plan more constructively. I am very critical of my work, which makes for some aggravation. I don't want to get in over my head with this, I want to be able to still enjoy crafting. First, I need to see if there is a market for handmade gifts. I believe there is. Second, I need to see if anyone is interested in my crafts. I've had some positive comments come my way. Thirdly, I need to sit down with the husband and write up a business plan, marketing, advertising and all the money talk. Then, we will get to making a go of this. Who knows, it might be a fun way of meeting new people and getting in touch with my creative side. I'm done circling the drain, now I just gotta take a leap of faith. Kreations by Kasey coming soon!

The Napkin Napper Strikes Again!

Growing Pains.

Similar to the classic cheesy 80's sitcom and the Seaver family, my little family has been challenged with our own growing pains. Whenever a baby is brought into the picture, life changes, the simple everyday things (like going to the bathroom alone) and the complex relationships that have taken years to build. If you are someone who doesn't love change (or downright dreads it) this can be even more of a challenge. I have always prided myself on being someone who is pretty easy to go with life's flow, but when two people become three, this is not a go with the flow situation. This whole situation is life altering stuff- unfortunately our episodes do not end with a live audience clapping and upbeat music.

During the first weeks of your child's life there are so many emotions going on. There is excitement, anxiousness, fear and loneliness (even if you have a super support system). You are still Mom and the majority of the responsibility falls on you. I was going through some serious growing pains (and hormonal fluxes) and so was husband and baby. After Kurt went back to work I was really starting to resent him. I resented the fact that he was able to sleep, able to escape the endless bouts of crying, able to retain some part of himself. Instead of talking about these feelings, I internalized them (why, I don't know). Maybe I was ashamed of the way I was feeling. Worst thing for a new mom to do is not talk. For the first time in four years I had negative feelings towards my husband. This was even more difficult to deal with because we had never even had a fight before, our life together was easy. Fast forward about three months to the present. We survived (hooray!). I finally had to sit him down and talk, I don't mean sugarcoat the emotions, but get real, dirty style. He was hurt (he is VERY sensitive), but he had some feelings he needed to talk about too. I felt much more connected, in tune with him. We are definitely better because of it. Karson is not the only one growing leaps and bounds. We all are, individually and together. Our family unit is much stronger now than it has ever been. For the first time in a long time I feel like I can breathe. I can go to sleep at night knowing that everything that I am feeling has been said, even the not so nice feelings. 

The other night at work I started a 16 & Pregnant marathon. I had absolutely nothing else to watch and figured why not. Boy was that a bad idea. Before I knew it I was reliving all of those emotions I felt the first couple weeks of Karson's life. I was crying and then even worse I was fuming! Pissed actually. I was and am so blessed to have a supportive partner in this journey. I couldn't imagine it any other way. Who else could have put up with my crazy? After turning off the trash I decided to research rolling over. Kurt has been staying up all night watching the baby monitor when I am at work because Karson is starting to roll over. Kurt was scared to death that Karson would not be able to breathe if he rolled over in the middle of the night. The clear headed death investigator knows that there is nothing to worry about, but the narcotic first time mom had to google it. A half an hour into it and I am texting Kurt at 4am to get up and check on the baby. Panic had set in and I was not going to rest until I got an answer. So I called him, all was well. After I hung up I thought to myself, holy shit these feelings are never going to go away, I thought the days of panic were over. I thought that phase was complete and we were on to the next. Every day brings new milestones and new emotions. We are all just growing together and facing new pains.

Talking about pains-yesterday was boogie's 4 month check up. I felt a lot better this time than last. The doctor was surprised when I said I was still breastfeeding. She told me congratulations, I felt like I had won a medal. Let's be honest women should get one (or two) for all that we do when it comes to our children! Karson overall is right on track, we got a ham on our hands. He is a chart topper already (let's hope this continues, one day I would love to be a rock stars Mom). He is 90th percentile for height, 80th for weight. Our doctor wants to wait til 6 months for solids, she doesn't want him to be obese (funny, but true). I can't believe how much I enjoy breastfeeding now, in retrospective I am SO happy that I did not give up!!! The shots were easy-peasy, two second scream when they pulled them out and he was back to smiles. Later that evening is another story. I thought we were in the clear, we had a wonderful mid day nap and he woke up with a big 'ol boogie smile! I decided to run some errands with my mom, first stop egg custard sno-ball, not even two seconds into it and all the sudden Karson let out a screech. He went from happy to pissed in .2 seconds. We flew to the nearest drug store for Tylenol. We sat in the parking lot for an hour with Karson screaming at the top of his lungs, people could hear him in their own cars. (My kid can scream). Parenting lesson number one: watching your child in pain is absolutely heartbreaking, you would cut off your own arm to make them feel better. I adore this little monster so much that I was crying along with him. We both survived the exhausting ordeal. Bedtime was an hour early that night (for both of us)! 

You Know You're a Momma When...

I receive e-mails daily from babycenter.com, most of them I delete without even opening-some of them are just absolutely ridiculous. Today, I opened one and at the bottom was a short excerpt about "knowing you're a mother when"..... I attempted to find the article to quote it. After about a thirty minute search (you can tell I am at work on night shift-when would I ever have that kind of time at home?!?) I was unsuccessful. After trying to remember what the article wrote, I decided screw it I'll write my own list.

First let me start by saying this, prior to being a mother I wondered if and how I would ever be able to do it? I was never one of those natural born mother's (you know the type- the little girl who carries around a baby doll dreaming of someday being called "Mommy"). I was never the woman who gushed at other people's children. To be honest I still don't. The closest children to me were my niece and nephew- I loved being around them, but I still had no clue and no responsibility (I was only 19). To be honest up until I delivered my sweet boy I wondered if I had the mother gene? What would I do if I did not have an immediate connection to my baby? How would I know to take care of him-feed him, clothe him, protect him? There was a lot of wondering and praying that everything would fall into place. I read about women who did not connect with their children until much later in life. I was horrified, would that be me?

When Karson was born I felt like I was robbed of crucial bonding time due to our l & d circumstances. I never actually saw him come out of me (I know your probably thinking so what he is still yours)-this is true, but it's different. I didn't see him for hours after. Sure, I was as high as a kite, but I will never forget laying in the recovery room fighting the drugs and doing everything in my power to stay awake for updates about him. The nurse brought him to me, in my drug induced state, I saw my baby. He was wrapped up like a little sausage, so perfect. I cried and kissed his forehead, in that moment I was a Momma-not a mother, there is a difference.

In retrospective I explain that moment like a light switch, one minute I was me "just plain ol' me", the next I was Karson's Momma. Since that moment the bulb has burned brighter every day; I am completely head over heels for this little boy. All of those worries were for nothing. I feel like a Momma, I love being a Momma & not to toot my own horn, but I am damn good at it too!

With that said, here is my simple list: (just in case you didn't have the light switch moment)

You know you're a Momma when:

- showering  takes place whenever you can slip in a minute (some days this might not be at all).

- you have some kind of bodily fluid on you at some point of the day.

- eating is something that is done only for survival.

- you can't even imagine future plans for yourself.

- sleep, what's that?

- one little smile melts your heart and makes your day.

- you would do anything I mean anything to take away their pain.

- going to the bathroom requires acrobatics (especially if your baby weighs 18 lbs like mine).

- reading little golden books is your favorite time of the day.

- waking up at 5 am is wonderful (even if he is crying-he is alive!)

- at the end of the day you can't wait to share with your sig. other the events of the day ( he pooped twice).

- shopping trips consist of the latest baby accessories.

- you finally get you time and half of it is spent calling home for updates, talking about your little one or at least thinking about him.

- you check his breathing when he is in his car seat or crib or well whenever you feel necessary.

- life is simply not worth living without your little buddy.

My most recent "Momma moment" was this past Sunday when Karson was baptized. After the priest baptized her ( I mean him!) even the priest had me confused. Side note *(For those not at this festivity, the priest insisted upon calling Karson a her, even though we had him dressed in a suit. Ahh old Catholic priests, at least he noticed half way through when he finally looked at the baby!) Anyway, the priest had a special blessing for Karson's mother, that's me! I had to fight back the tears, God has blessed me, I am the Momma to this precious little monster. The good, the bad & the just plain ugly! I am ready to rumble. I am Momma, hear me roar!

Baby's First Boo-Boo

 Well its official I have joined the many moms who have accidentally hurt their child and felt like complete shit about it. Today was a very busy day for spud & I. We decided earlier in the week that we were going to help our friend move out of her place. Not a smart idea to bring a baby along for the excursion, but somehow we made it work. We got up early and he was in prime shape (smiles and all). I thought we better book it while he was still in a wonderful morning mood. *Sidebar: As of late Karson absolutely hates his car seat, he will scream for the entire ride (no matter the distance). I have tried it all-music, propping the bottle up for him to sip, teething toys, even holding his hand (do not ask how I manage to do this & drive). Not safe I know, but is being in a small car with a baby who can scream louder than any other human being safe? I think not. Anyway, he managed to make it all the way to Baltimore with only a minute meltdown. Hallelujah! At first I wore him in the baby carrier (try carrying boxes like that)-another not so good of an idea. He fell asleep for an hour which helped us get the big stuff loaded down. We ventured out with our first load. We got to the house and he was ready to get out of the car! I sat him on the couch in a nice spot for back support. I literally went out to the truck which took all about two seconds. We came back in and he was half way face down on the couch. I dropped the table and ran like a crazy person. He was fine, wasn't even phased. I couldn't believe I had left him in that position, I know better! My mind wondered about all the dangers of the incident and how it could have been much worse. I know most mothers’ worry, but I feel like mine is exaggerated due to my line of work. I've seen the worst of the worst. After that his butt was on the carpet playing with his favorite teether until we were done. 

Finally it was time to eat. We were all hot, sticky and smelly-some more than others! This dumbass wore jeans and flip flops in 80 degree weather, another not so smart idea. We pulled up to Quizno's and I went to get Karson out of the car seat, I raised him up out of the seat and BANG! I nailed the top of his head on the door frame. At first he was startled and then the water works came. You could tell he wasn't really in pain, but that his feelings were hurt. Well kid, I had you beat. I was mortified and turned to my girlfriend's and announced, " I hit his head." I'm sure my face was priceless. I turned to my friend who happens to be an ER nurse and exclaimed, "it isn’t a subdural is it?" She smiled and assured me it was not that bad, but of course my first reaction is the worst. We continued to the restaurant and got some ice for the little scrap of skin on his head. The entire way back to Baltimore, I was scared to death that he was going to stop breathing in the car seat. Talk about nerves! Of course he fell asleep, the one time I want to hear noise. After many obstacles on our way to getting home, we made it. We both survived. 

Of course, Daddy got home and we had to recap the day's events. He did the one two glance over and noticed a cut on his nose. He looked at me and said "did Mommy do that to?" No smartass, Karson decided to use his wolverine claws in the middle of the night. Technically this is Daddy's fault because he is in charge of nail cutting. Last time Mommy attempted I cut his thumb and he bled. Okay so maybe the head incident today wasn't technically his first boo boo caused by Mommy and I'm sure it won't be the last. Let's just pray it will never result in a trip to the ER. 

Note: Karson is a-okay and I am continuing to monitor him. He has a hard head just like Daddy! He is my tough big boy.

Loving my new highchair!

My 1st Mother's Day!

I've realized that my blog has been suffering as of late. I would like to blame the baby time warp that continues to run my life. Sunday was Mother's Day and we had a fun filled weekend. I decided to really make this year special for my own Mom, she does so much for us, especially now that Karson is in the picture. I took her to a winery for taste tasting, we both really enjoyed it, some $200 later & we are officially considered winos. Seriously though, I would recommend Linganore Winery located in Mt. Airy, its beautiful and the wine is to die for-this is coming from a beer drinker. We then gathered up our men and headed out to Towson to 7 West Bistro Grille for dinner. Another excellent pick. Food was awesome and decor was fun & funky. The restaurant is definitely family friendly- Karson & both of my nephews joined the party. Our table was overrun with kiddos & my niece wasn't even there. (We missed you girls!). After gorging myself (this was my cheat meal from Weight Watchers) to the point of making myself sick, we went home and Karson decided to start a nuclear meltdown. Hour later and I was in bed by 9. Sunday morning started off with a huge smile from my lover bug, best start to the morning. Karson then presented me a gift certificate to a salon to get my nails done, something I always did before he was here & now have yet to to do since he's been here. Karson along with Grammy got me a flower ring that I have loved and wanted for about a year now. Hurry hurry to church, sat through Catholic mass (Karson slept the entire time), breakfast at Johnny's and then off to the Veteran's Cemetery to see Karson's other Grandma.

It was a very somber moment, watching my son sit beside his Grandmother's grave knowing he will never have the joys of a relationship with her. I felt sad for him and for my husband who has been robbed of having his mother around during this amazing time in his life. It makes me angry when I hear other women complain about their mother-in-laws (I know how difficult some can be) when I would give anything to have one. It breaks my heart when Kurt references his Mom in casual conversation. I have no input, I never had the chance to meet the woman who gave my husband life, taught him to be the man he is today. I am so thankful to her and I will never get the opportunity to voice it. I just hope in the future I can be present when my son takes his bride (or husband), has his family and makes me overwhelmed with pride. I want to be there for it all, just a bystander who gets to relish in the fact that I did an awesome job as his Mom. I want some lucky lady to thank me & his father for raising such a stand up man. I hope this cycle continues after I am long gone. Mundell men exceed the norm!

Today before Kurt left for work we decided to read a book to Karson. My choice "I'll love you forever", as I sat on the footstool and the boys sat in the rocker I read the book all the way through without tears for once. Karson was smiling and really enjoying this special moment, very rarely do we get the time to sit as a family and read together. I look up at Kurt and I catch his eye, he is tearing up for the second time this week. Prior to this I have never seen my husband cry. I realized in that moment this story really hits home for him, he has lived this story and is still living it on a daily basis. On that note hug your Mother right now, if she is to far away call her right now. Whatever you do embrace your Mother, Mother-in-law or any other women who has impacted your life for the better.

On a lighter note: WE ARE ALL MOM ENOUGH!!!

Mothers Unite!

An unfortunate group of negative events have inspired me for this next post. Here is my disclaimer: If you do not like what I have to say...STOP reading. This is my free space to say whatever I want! Thank God for that.

Motherhood is just another phase of life that allows people to join cliques and make rules for you to follow. That's really sad. Motherhood is about the most important job you can do, and as being a follow mom you should want to encourage and support one another. NOT bring each other down, or judge each other on whether or not you: breastfeed or formula feed, stay at home or work and all the other things that women judge each other about. I encounter a lot of negativity on mother blogs or just simply Facebook. Everyone is different, embrace it! Therefore, people's parenting skills will vary. I am a first time mom and I am the first to admit I AM CLUELESS! Yes, I will listen to your advice and opinions, then you should respect my right as a mother to do things my way. Thankfully, no one has directed their ignorant judgments my way (at least not verbally), they probably know better. Bottom line: We are all in this together, motherhood is a beautiful journey, let's treat it that way! Let's support each other, mother's unite!

Onto more entertaining news. We had our first poop explosion last week! Here I was smugly laughing at all the pooptastrophies I had read and heard about, thinking that never happened to us! Haha! Last week after a wonderful surprise visit from a great friend, Karson and I were sitting out in the kitchen rocking out to music and getting a snack. We finished up and we were headed back to the cave for some more catching up on our DVR. I went to pick him up from his musical bouncer (aka strange baby vibrator) and I felt a little wetness on his sleeper. Uh oh someone peed their pants-WRONG again. Someone exploded in their pants. I look down and I was in awe of the power of one little boy. Poop runs all in his bouncer. I walk to the bathroom look in the mirror and see the horror, the entire left leg of his sleeper is poop juice. I stand there in shock-what the hell am I supposed to do now?!? Get the camera, DUH! I had to document this monumental poop. I knew his father would never believe me without proof. Then, the chaos ensued. Up until this point Karson was just relieved to get that giant poop out and had a smile on his face. I then undressed myself, down to the granny panties, I knew this was going to get messy! I turn on the shower head, attempt to fill the baby tub up (all while holding him). The faucet is strangely loud and scared the crap out of the both of us (there wasn't much left for him). Threw some bubbles in there, made sure the water was warm and then the real waterworks started. I got him out of the sleeper (this went right in the trash, along with the onesie and diaper). Worthless! I forgot to mention he just grew out of sink washing, this was the second time in the frog tub and first time for mommy all by herself. Sounds easier then it is, especially with a slippery little baby in your hands. I attempted to get all poop off his legs and feet. The tub looked like a war zone. Karson was screaming his head off, (compare to Steven Tyler). All I could do is get down in his face and say over and over again, "Baby we are almost done, I know mommy is terrible at this, but I love you and I would never hurt you." I guess I said this out loud to calm myself down. My heart was breaking over his major meltdown, but I had to get this poop off! I hurried up threw the ducky towel over him, dried him off and comfort nursed for about an hour. Our first pooptastrophie, we survived and have a great memory for when he brings home his first date! Paybacks are hell. Haha!

Schedule, I Wish!

Last Monday was our two month check-up. He weighed in at 13.5 lbs and 24 inches- 90% percentile. We got a big boy on our hands. I figured this because he wears 3-6 months in clothing. The appointment was very easy going, all the worry for nothing. Of course the night before I examined him from head to toe diagnosing him with  all sorts of crazy stuff. I had his father flipping out. We got a great report though. He does have a herniated belly button, but this should go away as he grows. He also has a hemangioma on his back, which should also go away with age. I'm sure my husband will hold our pediatrician to this! The man can and will remember everything. I think I was more upset about the shots than the baby was. I literally started tearing up and all he did was let out one good scream and went right back to sleep! Watching my baby in pain, an experience that I could live without. The feeling that comes over me, words cannot describe. I am a momma bear you know and I will without hesitation claw your face off if you hurt my young. Funny but true!

As we left the doctor my husband noticed my mood had changed and I was in attack mode. The doc was talking with us about our routine (or the lack there of). I explained how we did things: baby dictates the feedings, breast whenever baby wants, bottles when I am at work. Going to bed at 9 pm, sleeping mostly through the night with only one nighttime feeding. Sounds good and works for us...right!?! Well, wrong. Being a first time parent you should always assume you are probably wrong. Trial and error..the key to keeping your sanity. Now before I go onto explain how we were educated, please note this is our doc's opinion and you should always talk to your doc. Anyway, we learned he should be taking 6 oz bottle feedings, not the 2 that we had been giving him (this could explain some of the constant crankiness-he's still hungry dumbass, we will take note). Comfort breastfeeding before bedtime makes for a hard situation when Daddy or Grammy has him. (OK, I knew this one I just didn't care too much). Hey- I am the one with him 90 % of the time! He should be getting at least a 2-3 hour nap in the middle of the day, not the 5 or 6 twenty minutes naps we were getting. (This means I could nap too or get things done without a baby in my hands-Hallelujah!). Babies can get over tired- seriously?!? All they do is sleep, but this is true. When he is awake and not crying, let him stimulate himself. At this age you might feel the need (like I do) to constantly be making faces, or putting toys in his face. He needs to learn too, which could simply mean watching you clean. We can't have them in our arms all the time-yeah right, we can...we just shouldn't! Now your thinking duh I knew all this information, well knowing and putting into practice are two different things!

I felt crushed when we left the doctor's, here I thought we were making such progress. I was in charge and everything was flowing great (expect when I left the show to others). I internalized everything the doctor had said, I was a negligent mother for not knowing these important things! I took it out on the person closest to me (of course it was hubby). The babes and I took a long nap when we got home from the doctor's, I talked to my mother about everything we had learned and continued to have a foul attitude about it. Finally I came to the realization that I am a novice at parenting. I need to learn, I need to take information and try to apply it to our life. There is no right way to parenting-there is your way! You do things your way, your baby will be happy and taken care of no matter what. Take advice, educate yourself and then just live. 

(Until the 4 month appointment when you learn even more!)

Always remember we are all in this together!

Team Parenting

Have you ever heard the saying it takes a village to raise a child? Yup it sure does.

It is hard though to let go of the reigns and let someone take a load of your plate. Especially for us control freak moms! Well tomorrow at this time I will be eating lunch at my desk, while my husband drops the baby off to my mother. Back to work already, where has the last two months gone? Thank God for my husband and mother, without them who knows where we would be. Probably an insane asylum somewhere.

As a trial run last Friday my husband and I spent the first night away from the baby for a friends wedding. After the initial leaving I must say I impressed myself and kept crazy momma away for most of the night. She made a couple appearances while trying to pump and still be part of the party. (A main reason why I hate leaving the baby-fully loaded boobs!) I was surprised at my ability to keep it together. My track record was not so good! It helps to have such supportive girlfriends. Oh and thank you for the MILF compliments...hahaha! Coming home was sweet serendipity.

Now tomorrow is the real test. Not only am I anxious, I am starving! I started my weight watchers plan yesterday. Whew Jennifer Hudson made it look so easy. We are going grocery shopping today for all the healthy ingredients. Although I refuse to cook, my husband is totally on board and has sweetly volunteered to pre-fix my meals. I have a gem of a husband. My first goal is to be back to pre-baby weight, which means I have ten pounds to go. My heaviest with baby was 240!!! I am happily at 186. I just wish I could fit into my jeans again. I am still in maternity pants, but they are swimming on me and I have to walk around pulling them up constantly as if I have a load of poop in my pants.

Unfortunately, not to many hysterical stories this week. We took a trip to the Easter bunny for a quick pic. Boy do the mall bunnies rob you blind. You think I am crazy enough to pay $40 for a picture of my 2 month old on some creepy looking guy's lap dressed in a bunny suit. Well okay I'd pay for $30. Hah! The lady was trying her hardest to get Karson to smile. I watched her for a couple minutes & then decided it was time to tell her he literally just started smiling and it is never on demand. I thought what a loon, then damn it if she didn't make a fool out of me. The little booger cracked a smile! He loves to prove me wrong already, takes after his father.

On a personal note. I have decided to wait until fall semester to continue with school. Right now life is way to hectic and we are not on a very solid schedule yet. To tell you the truth I could kiss school goodbye, but I know if I wanna make the big bucks once the kids are in school I gotta get over it and just do it...again!

I have soooo many pictures of my guy and they are already collecting. All this time off and everyday I have meant to start his scrapbook and everyday I never get a minute to. I figure by the time he gets married at least his first two months on this planet will be completed. I always wondered what stay at home moms do all day. Of course I thought must be nice. Hahaha. Yeah right. Hardest job of all ladies & gents. If you aren't one then you wouldn't understand. We are in our own little club- and I'm only a part timer. With that said, here's a big "Hey Girl" to all the mommas out there! Your doing a bang up job!

Holy hell just finished a microwaveable smart ones dinner, sesame chicken. Very delish! Totally recommend.  Have to cut the therapy session short, gotta pump & pick up the babes. Boy is he getting very connected to me. Sorry Dad!

Talk to you guys next time!

Cut the Crap. Let's Talk About Motherhood for Real!

The baby time zone has struck again. Has it really been that long since my last post?!?!

The last couple of weeks the one question that I keep getting from people is, "Do you enjoy being a parent?" What the hell kind of question is that? I'm assuming that Kurt and I get confronted with this question because we are first time parents? Who the hell knows. So when people ask me I look at them and think is this someone that wants me to smile and say "Oh I absolutely love it" OR is this someone I can be honest with. Well in short, here's the real answer. Everyday I wake up, walk across the hall and I have this little person who depends on me for survival looking up at me (most of the time screaming his head off). I pick him up, change him and attach the little booger to my boob. Then we begin our day, regardless of what we get into, you can bet their will be tantrums, poop and sore boobies. The night comes and the gremlin fights every bit of the night time routine. His father comes home and finds that three hours later I am still fighting to put him  to sleep. The quiet occurs and I sleep with a blinding light (the video monitor) in my face. One (or two) late night feedings later and  there you have it...my day as a parent. Is it Groundhog's Day? Oh no my life is on constant repeat? Neither, reality has set in I am a mother!

By now your thinking wow this lady really hates parenthood or being a mother. Well you couldn't be any further from the truth. I'll let you in on a sick little secret, I have never been as happy in my life as I am when my little booger wakes me up for a 5:30 feeding. In the quiet darkness I sit rocking him as he looks into my eyes and although he can't say it yet, I feel an incredible burst of the deepest love I have ever felt. So when someone asks me this question when I am doing everything in my power to quiet my baby down from bursting the eardrums of those around us, I want to smack the person. How could any sane person love this. No one ever asks me this question when I am having one of my life altering mother moments. YES! I enjoy being a parent. What I really enjoy is the hilarity of it all!!!

Two quick lighthearted moments to put a smile on your face.

1. The husband, baby and I were in the grocery store yesterday. I was pushing a cart with the baby in his car seat (this is another subject, but I am going to invent something easier for mother's to take infants shopping in) my husband had the actual grocery cart. We were strolling through and the baby started to wake up, I quickly exited the aisle and stood by the strange meat rack (there is a strange odor and is usually a safe place to get away from everyone else) and continued to move the cart back and forth trying to soothe the baby and put his butt back to sleep to finish the epic shopping trip. Just then, a pregnant girl (maybe 16) turns the corner with her mother. She longingly looks over at our cart and peers into the car seat. I could just see the "Aww, I can't wait to have my baby look on her face". The cynical mother I am, knowing what this poor girl's life is going to be like in less than 3 months smirked. I freaking smirked, like a devil, almost evil really. I started to chuckle and couldn't restrain myself. Oh honey this is reality, this ain't MTV.

2. Sitting in bed with my "good sweats" on. Don't judge me (if your a mother you know what these are). I look down and there is a puddle of a wet spot just near my crotch. "What the hell" I thought? Where did this come from? First, I made sure I didn't pee myself (so I slacked on my kegels). Nope. Second, made sure the baby did not throw up or slobber. Nope. Third, "Shit are my boobs leaking AGAIN?!? I just changed my shirt. Nope. Perplexed, I did what any other wondering mother would do, that's right you guessed it, I smelled it. Hmmm, didn't really have a scent. I then decided on waking my baby because I could not rest until I knew where this wet spot came from. I did the one two look over exam, then the pat down. Ah ha! I found it! My wonderful boy had such a mega pee from the 4 oz bottle he had just consumed, he leaked through his diaper, undershirt and new onesie onto my sweats. The mystery was solved. Sad part, the highlight of my day. I couldn't wait until Kurt got home so I could share the news with him. For the audience  I have decided to leave out the multiple stories of poop stains that have shown up in the strangest places. Scooby might have the mystery machine, but I have the mommy mysteries that will one day make millions.

Until Next Mystery.

Happy Belated St. Patty's Day!